Midlife Crisis? What Midlife Crisis?

game selection

Two more matches, and I'm done with chess for a while. Why be humiliated playing a board game when you can be humiliated and lose money playing a card game! It' s a no brainer.

Awesome session tonight. I had to pull the plug after 800 hands. I managed to lose 6.5BI, 4BI below AI EV, and on top of that I had AKs<AA AI pre, rivered set < rivered straight and turned straight < turned flush (this last one I failed to spot in time that he was a passive fish, so I blame myself there). BR now hovers around $700. Even the 235 FPP hyper that I played kicked me in the teeth with AA < A3o.

Now, I'm about to say something, and I know it's going to sound like a plea for everybody to make nice encouraging posts, so please don't. I just want to record the fact that I'm finding this really hard at the moment. The kids are driving me and mrsjb completely insane and I'm struggling to cope with playing poker for hours in the evening and working all day, and trying to keep my crazy family in line. Tbh I'd be struggling to keep going even if I was winning, but my endless downswing is just doing my head in. I'm now $700 below EV for the year. I know I shouldn't be results oriented, but fuck it, I just can't cope. Balls not big enough. It's not the $$$, it's the seemingly endless disappointment of it all. I think 'being a man' is partly about admitting when you feel fucked up instead of trying to pretend otherwise, and I feel fucked up. (Although note that I seem to have got over the urge to post bad beats in any shape or form.)

In the long run I will cope, but right now I need to take a week off. Sorry TT. I need a week of being neither man nor shark.

On a brighter note, work's going really rather well atm. I have to start teaching fourth year fluid mechanics next week, but it's a small class so it should hopefully be quite rewarding. My research students and postdoc (I should say my 'Research Group' but that would make me sound like a wanker) and I all seem to be making progress on the problems we're working on. The teaching and learning stuff is starting to take shape, and I've done the teaching allocation for next year (I get to decide who teaches what! ♠_evil: ). I think work's the only thing that's keeping me sane.

I do have a hand as a parting shot. No stats on Villain when this happened.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $0.25 BB (6 handed) - PokerStars Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com

SB ($25.22)
BB ($27.93)
jbpatzer (UTG) ($25)
MP ($22.20)
CO ($10.75)
Button ($25.94)

Preflop: jbpatzer is UTG with A♣, Q♣
jbpatzer bets $0.87, 2 folds, Button calls $0.87, 2 folds

Flop: ($2.09) 6♣, 2♦, Q♠ (2 players)
jbpatzer bets $1, Button calls $1

Turn: ($4.09) 10:club: (2 players)
jbpatzer bets $2.73, Button calls $2.73

River: ($9.55) K♦ (2 players)
jbpatzer bets $4.70, Button raises to $13.50, jbpatzer folds

Total pot: $18.95 | Rake: $0.85

I think I needed to bet more on flop, but that's the cbet size I've been using as my standard on this sort of dry board (actually, I'm UTG, so I have a stronger range, so maybe a bit more is in order). I suspect that otherwise this hand is really standard isn't it? If he has a busted flush draw, well played him, although I have two clubs including the A, so it's not so likely. Look at me using the Fold button like a grown up.

If he has a busted draw, the K:d is a good card for him to bluff on right?

Meh, don't see anything busted ...

You got the clubs covered ... even if he floated some clubs/diamonds ...
All of those backdoor floats (suited broadways) basically hit some piece by the river that he/they aren't gonna turn into a bluff...

Only feasible turned into a bluff hand could be like a JT at best.
That seems to be about it ...

Slowplayed set / KQ / TT / AJ

Easy b/f, nh.

I can't help the sympathy escaping, just a little, in fact lets call it empathy and split the difference. There is one point I'd like to reinforce I've been considering a lot recently.

There is a lot of variance in poker.

Occasionally it really, really sucks and makes us feel miserable because we aren't getting where we know should eventually get. We know this doesn't make sense because we understand the statistical variance and the likelihood of going on mega sick runs.

We understand that our incomplete knowledge will exaggerate our experience of that variance and make us over emphasise the feelings we get.

The difference between those that work hard and succeed in poker v those that don't (assuming the long term view) is, most often, not giving in to the relentless assault on our ego.

Now, I've rage quit poker so many times now it's pretty silly. Usually for, at most, a week, maybe ten days at the outside. I've withdrawn bankrolls, raged at my sick breakeven stretches, suffered angst about my ability to assimilate knowledge and apply it in the heat of the moment. But I think the major block to me actually getting anywhere in poker is giving up too easily (ie after 6 months 120k hand b/e stretches where I've ended swinging up and down limits).

As I sit here now and reflect, I realise that if I'd been able to clear my head and keep plugging away, I'd probably have been able to play well enough and high enough to make decent wedge on an ongoing basis by now. Not as a soul crusher, epic pwning machine, but as a solid player with limited leaks on midstakes.

So the guts of it is, in most things, pushing past the bullshit times where everything sucks the kumara is what makes the most difference as to whether someone is likely to become successful in poker (and in a lot of things in life tbh).

I trust the most epic uNL poker book ever to be written *in progress* will include plenty on the non poker issues you're struggling with, because they're critical to success, they're typically poorly covered (because books are written by guys who've already got there and not struggled with the micros), and they will make the book absolutely must have for any aspiring poker player IMHO.

Enjoy your poker break. Coming back afterwards always feels like looking at everything with new eyes.

Oh, and CUNTFLAPS. Needed to be said, I thought.

Nothing wrong with taking a short break now and then, whether its forced or by choice.

Chill, relax, do something different for a few days.

When you start having user dreams, it's time to jump back on the pony.

See you soon.

My favourite countdown board for vicars (well for priests) would be:
BOYFUCKER

check (flop) mate

Why is the river a bet? Getting value from only QJ, maybe JJ?
I would have check/folded, don't see that many draws in his range

Originally posted by Waiboy
I can't help the sympathy escaping

Letting that sympathy out like a sneaky fart.

I think if I had found the limit I'm comfortable at and was well rolled for it, I'd be able to cope with a downswing. I understand variance. I think if I was just playing for fun, I'd be happy patiently sliding up and down the limits. One thing that worries me is that TT has said he'd stake me if necessary and I absolutely don't want him to have to. I'd rather sell one of the kids to fund my poker. (Actually, that's quite an attractive idea. I'll have to look into that one.) I'm looking for Zooom or the return of Rush to give me a way to plough through all these swings and swongs.

Originally posted by Gerv
If he has a busted draw, the K:d is a good card for him to bluff on right?

He's a complete unknown, I'm a complete unknown to him, and it's NL25. I don't think many people raise the river as a bluff at this limit. I think he's going to show me J9, AJ or KT >90% of the time. I'm going to give myself credit for tanking before folding.

Originally posted by BOBOsvk
check (flop) mate

Thanks Boris. Maybe I'll just fold pre next time.

Originally posted by goldchess
Why is the river a bet? Getting value from only QJ, maybe JJ?
I would have check/folded, don't see that many draws in his range

It's NL25. They'll call with all sorts of shit, 6x, Tx, worse Qx. I've tried bluffing in these sort of spots before. Your average NL25 player couldn't fold if they had a degree in origami.

So I will start playing again the weekend after next. Until then I'm not even going to look at Pokerstrategy.com. Pretend I'm on holiday. If you want to talk to me on Skype about anything other than poker, that's great. I'm happy to talk about footie (Except with Gerv ofc. Although I don't think I have him on Skype), current affairs, maths or kids.

Goldchess has taken to asking me maths questions, which is usually interesting. In case anyone's been wondering what my teaching style is like, here's an example.

[29/02/2012 16:10:17] goldchess: heres one
[29/02/2012 16:10:44] goldchess: x^2 = y^4 -77
[29/02/2012 16:10:55] goldchess: integer solutions
[29/02/2012 16:13:29] jbpatzer: number theory is for wankers
[29/02/2012 16:13:32] jbpatzer: just refuse to do it
[29/02/2012 16:13:40] goldchess: with that reason?
[29/02/2012 16:13:45] jbpatzer: yep

I think you can see that I am an expert at both mathematics and motivational techniques. TT could learn a lot from me.

I know you're going to be ok.

I just tried to buy a kid on eBay.

Didn't see any diddy jbs.

(Hang in there, Prof.)

Originally posted by jbpatzer
I think 'being a man' is partly about admitting when you feel fucked up instead of trying to pretend otherwise, and I feel fucked up.

Admitting it is the first step. Now on to deciding what you can bribe your family with so they all fall into line !