fightin' with laziness - finished

hahah wont be 2013, 6 more days and am finished with this shit.

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Its not whining, i just play super solid B/C game. Mostly clicking not thinking at all, just click click, oh jam this shit, this one i fold. Really i lost my confidence last days and every day is worse than other. Today i hit my desk so hard and almost break mouse (now its working better than before - more silenced lol).

Prob not gonna hit SN coz i rly dont want load any of this rigged ^$%&*#^%

Read mental game of poker. When i runned 328bis bellow ev it really really helped

Here are some minor things it may help your mood

Clean your desk
Take a walk before start grinding for 5-10mins
Have a really comfortable chair
Do not disturb yourself with forums,skype or phones

I am sure you know that 20bis are nothing in sngs

BTW - hope u pay back and clear your name.

Originally posted by belthazorrrr

Do not disturb yourself with forums,skype or phones

I am sure you know that 20bis are nothing in sngs

yea this is the thing i need to stop doing, still working on this.

Ofc 20-50bi is lol amount in sng, but takes time to not think about it this way am now.

Thats why i decided to not look at winnings (again, few months back i wanted to do it but didnt last long) till i reach SN - so far didnt check for more than week. Trying to just focus on vpps and decisions am making.

hahahah
another fk great day, all games are like:

Grabbed by Holdem Manager
NL Holdem $200(BB) Replayer
SB ($8,595)
Hero ($1,979)
BTN ($2,926)

Dealt to Hero K♥ K♠

BTN raises to $600, fold, Hero raises to $1,954 (AI), BTN calls $1,354

FLOP ($4,083) A♣ T♣ J♦

TURN ($4,083) A♣ T♣ J♦ 4♥

RIVER ($4,083) A♣ T♣ J♦ 4♥ 5♠

Hero shows K♥ K♠
(Pre 84%, Flop 36.3%, Turn 27.3%)

BTN shows T♠ J♣
(Pre 16%, Flop 63.7%, Turn 72.7%)

BTN wins $4,083

hahahah tell me that this soft is not rigged
Grabbed by Holdem Manager
NL Holdem $400(BB) Poker Stars
($5,373)
Hero ($8,127)

Dealt to Hero Q♣ Q♠

Hero raises to $812, raises to $5,348 (AI), Hero calls $4,536

FLOP ($10,746) 4♠ Q♦ K♣

TURN ($10,746) 4♠ Q♦ K♣ 7♠

RIVER ($10,746) 4♠ Q♦ K♣ 7♠ 6♠

Hero shows Q♣ Q♠
(Pre 69%, Flop 95.1%, Turn 81.8%)

shows 2♠ K♠
(Pre 31%, Flop 4.9%, Turn 18.2%)

wins $10,746

RIVERSTARS

RIGGED?

Grabbed by Holdem Manager
NL Holdem $200(BB) Poker Stars
Hero ($927)
BB ($1,515)
UTG ($2,018)
UTG+1 ($3,610)
CO ($3,125)
BTN ($2,305)

Dealt to Hero 4♦ A♣

fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to $2,305 (AI), Hero calls $827 (AI), fold

FLOP ($2,054) 3♥ 9♥ 5♥

TURN ($2,054) 3♥ 9♥ 5♥ 9♣

RIVER ($2,054) 3♥ 9♥ 5♥ 9♣ K♣

BTN shows 3♠ K♦
(Pre 35%, Flop 60.7%, Turn 70.5%)

Hero shows 4♦ A♣
(Pre 65%, Flop 39.3%, Turn 29.5%)

BTN wins $2,054

Grabbed by Holdem Manager
NL Holdem $400(BB) Replayer
SB ($3,250)
Hero ($1,505)
BTN ($8,745)

Dealt to Hero 8♦ 8♥

BTN raises to $8,720 (AI), fold, Hero calls $1,080 (AI)

FLOP ($3,235) 4♦ Q♣ T♠

TURN ($3,235) 4♦ Q♣ T♠ A♠

RIVER ($3,235) 4♦ Q♣ T♠ A♠ J♣

Hero shows 8♦ 8♥
(Pre 71%, Flop 76.1%, Turn 79.5%)

BTN shows 4♥ J♦
(Pre 29%, Flop 23.9%, Turn 20.5%)

BTN wins $3,235

hahah wanna be pro from new year - the loolest thing i ever think out. Better stick to shitty 9-5 with my mindest and silzzz lool.

Come on man, am not happy seein u like that :/ MAN UP!

dude, i just slowly discovering that am not (and wont be good at it). Every day is worse than previous. Am tiltin soooo hard now at almost every session, and b/c of it am playing even worst.
Today i ve funny chat with klepto:

k: herek still tilting?
me: y all day long, use it well:)

TOday i looked at HEM -254,58$ in 98 games weeee. At beginning of dec i got 3k in cashier, wouldnt be suprise if i discover 50% of it in next few days when i check it (or less).

The worst thing is i dont want be like am now. Before sess i saying mantra - not tilt not tilt, play focused, not tilt. And 99% of time i need to stop loading tables after 40-60mintes, and only b/c i cant afford to buy new screen i havent smashed this one i got now (already destroyed mouse)..... phatetic

Rly dunno what happend in these last 2 months, but am not even 1/10 good i was few months back.

hey i am STT player too and i have been reading your blog for some time.i play 22$ on WPT.

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these are 3 consecutive days from this December.is my biggest downswing so far.i have to say that it didn't feel good but i managed not to tilt.

when i was playing lowers stakes i tilted a lot and i was saying that in this way i get it of my chest and feel better but the truth is that in the long run it only increased my rage.so started to try and control it.it was hard.at start i tried to focus on the right decision than try to realize that is all variance and before i knew it ,it became a habit.

try to keep tracking of the right decisions.usually the most tilting hand is the last hand we play in a STT and we lose.try to see how many last hands of the tournament can you make the right decision.is not easy but i think it will help you.

sorry for the long post and good luck:)

Herek i will write this because i would like to help you

I turned pro having 700$ in my account. I was no where near i am now and this is because the soft competition of full tilt and ongame network never motivated me to overstudy. This year i tried supernova for first time having 1k in my account and playing mainly 15$. I thought i was GOD this is why i didnt use more money

I runned 328bis bellow ev if you want to believe this. I took 2hrs coaching from Superuorme to see if my play is so bad. He coached me in the first 180bis downswing. There are things that we cant control aka variance

If you ask me, i secretly believe that online poker is rigged in some way. Do you want from long bad stretch run? Do you want of long bad distirbution card stretches? Is some way it is rigged

BUT

Even though i runned shit, even though i need 1.2k to minimum to live, even though i tried supernova and i had to consistantly waste my fpps for platinum rakeback even though i was over stressed somedays because i didnt knew if i will have money in the end of the month I DID ENJOY POKER

This is what motivates you to play. If you dont enjoy poker you should consider make something else. From my point of view you have many things that you can fix in your game. I believe i am in the top 5 of 15$ players but i have some things to improve and i know what are they, just too lazy right now

When i say i am in the top 5 of 15$ i say it because i see how everyone is playing and my account is still in 100bis bellow ev but i am in the leaderboards. I dont know if i will get them back but i do enjoy playing poker

Advice 1: Consider if you enjoy or not poker, if not choose sthing else
Advice 2: Improve your game. Be coached. I know a good coach if you want but he will be able from the new year

Gl. I hope you survive

PS Axlpoker you cant compare downswing in pokerstars with any other network because pokerstars has the most balance stuctures. All other networks are semi-hyper-turbos including WPT

Originally posted by belthazorrrr

I believe i am in the top 5 of 15$ players

how does it feel to be one of the top 5 grinders at 15$ stake

good money while running bellow ev (handsake)

Who are the top four?

first hanggy

then without order aceofk-town, iwannar0ck, zzz100500, yaoxinfu and me

Originally posted by alxpoker91

try to keep tracking of the right decisions.usually the most tilting hand is the last hand we play in a STT and we lose.try to see how many last hands of the tournament can you make the right decision.is not easy but i think it will help you.

haha your soo right about last hand

Originally posted by belthazorrrr

Advice 1: Consider if you enjoy or not poker, if not choose sthing else
Advice 2: Improve your game. Be coached. I know a good coach if you want but he will be able from the new year

1) i enjoy it sooo much, its the most challenging thing i ever did. No way id give up.
2) still got 2h left with abarone, and some another sweat comin soon

Tytyty guys for warm words, glad u droped a line.
I know my weakest poitn is my head. And as Milan is saying - am overthinkig everything

Also my gf noticed am bit stressed and b/c of this SN chase and wanna be pro thing i started be more vulnerable to tilt. No one said poker its easy piece of cake, now i got some of what can happen and be even 100x worse next year, but still i m motivated to try it.

Today i found way to not tilt as much. Am just setting my registering AHK, put it on 2nd screen with lobby, turn monitor off, and put headpohnes with chillin music. This way am not able to www/skype/checking how i get suckouted etc etc.

What am still proud of is the fact i havent checked results this month beside yeasterday.

1535 vpp to go..., want to finish it before xmas eve supper with family

Abarone is the best. Great choice. He is the one who i would suggest for

Next year would be stressfree because you would already sn and it is very easy to reach again. Well it is effortless

hahahaha

funny hand occured, after aipf on flop i thought - i run like shit so it wouldnt suprise me if turn gonna be Q, and river T.
That what happend (srsly)

But i dont give a f**k about this today. Guess my graph for today is like \, but am totally calm now.

Just a quick observation about the aj hand; 40% of the time k5s sucks out. Doesn't matter if he rivers a five or goes runner runner backdoor gutshot. Or flops a boat. Or w/e. Just push through to sn; don't let these last few days be more painful than they need to be by focussing on how exactly you get sucked out.

Best of luck!

Man if you think that way your mind will blow. Seriously it is a 60/40 situation dont think after the flop, you will go crazy this way

Grabbed by Holdem Manager
NL Holdem $400(BB) Poker Stars
($4,111)
Hero ($9,389)

Dealt to Hero Q♦ 8♥

Hero raises to $9,364 (AI), calls $3,686 (AI)

FLOP ($8,222) 2♣ T♦ K♦

TURN ($8,222) 2♣ T♦ K♦ 5♠

RIVER ($8,222) 2♣ T♦ K♦ 5♠ K♠

Hero shows Q♦ 8♥
(Pre 69%, Flop 29.0%, Turn 13.6%)

shows 7♦ 2♥
(Pre 31%, Flop 71.0%, Turn 86.4%)

wins $8,222

Good therre still ppl like him