Originally posted by RTT314
Thanks Schnitz for all the detailed resposnes. I will try to answer to your ideas in as much details as possible. Also sorry for the delay in the response.
Me having problems with starting things:
I did write a vision statement already and i do read it when I feel unmotivated to do something. It helps quite a lot but my vision is pretty removed from my daily activites. My daily activites aren't really linked to my vision. Instead my vision is that I stick to my plans and that would be following my daily to-dos. So thats why I do them. I think my mission is to bring out the most of of every aspect of my life and that's what I try to do every day.
About the start of an activity itself I feel this block within myself. I think its a fear (probably its a fear of failure) and lazyness . Which completely does not make sense but for some reason - even if its a minor thing - its there. Also I think the goal of the activity itself its too far removed from the current present (its a long term goal) and that can drain my motivation.
Working on hard things first during the day is indeed really awesome. I always do my workout and yoga during the morning. Also I try to start the hard projects during that time and it indeed gives a snese of accomplishment.
[To be honest I think I improved quite a bit since I wrote my question to you regarding this. I woke up 21 days in a row at 8:00am and I did pretty much 95% of what I wanted to do. So thats pretty cool!]
Regarding my changes and making them stick:
Around mid December I have read your productivity guide. I went over each article and DID stuff what you mentioned.
- I made a vision statement.
- I made a diet plan and wrote down why is that good for me.
- I made an exercise plan and wrote down all the positive effects that it will bring to my life
- I made a detailed poker plan which I'm following now
- And I made a general schedule for all the things which I'm planning on doing each day. Not making it too fixed but mixing in a bit of everything (socializing, playing my guitar, reading, studying poker, playing poker, doing university stuff and such.)
- Also I made a reward system out of this schedule which rewards me for each completed task/day with a small amount of money. I track this in an excel file and I will use that money to buy something which I totally wouldnt have bought without this plan but i always wanted to have
And on new years eve I made a resolution that I want to change my life to its finest. I implemented every one of my plans in my life. Basically turning my life around completely. Started doing gym, yoga, a completely healthy diet, scheduleing stuff, setting my biorythm and controlling my life to a big extent.
I DID read that you recommend 1 change per month out of these but I was looking at this rather as a challenge. If I can make all of them sitck I gained just so much value in my life and If I can't do it I will simply start over 1-by-1 from the next month.
I'd like to know what do you think about this. Will I be able to make these changes stick permanently? What do you think how hard it is to do this? Was this a bad idea?
About me being socially passive:
So you say that I should write down why would it benefit my if I would organize stuff. This is rather weird to talk about but to be honest but again the chance of failure factor comes in again (what if they decline if I invite) which I have to get rid of somehow. Do you think if I would DO right away instead of thinking first (it would be harder than you think) this problem would go away?
Regarding me going out:
To be honest if I really think about why I don't like to go outside these things come in my head:
- Laziness: I just rather prefer to stay in the comfortable aparments
- Its easier to stay passive than to get active: I think you or somnius mentioned somewhere that its harder to get something in motion that is not already in it and vice-versa. Well probably thats a cause too.
The positive effects of going out are huge. Probably I wasn't clear enough because I do go out a lot. I walk on average 1-1.5 hours a day because of the university and general big distances in my city. But yes. Even though I do it and I know its good for my health/energy levels/body I still dislike it... God I'm a pain in the @#$.....lol
Nutrisionwise:
Yeah I managed to solve this. I kept looking and managed to find wholewheat pasta, and coconut grease. Also I'm using normal but high quality white rice because couldn't find any unrefined one.
Since 21 days I also changed my diet completely. I only eat
fish/chicken/eggs/protein shake for proteins,
potatos/rice/wholewheat pasta/oatmeal/canned corn for carbs
and veggies/fruits as much as i can along these
Also I only drink tea, no coffee and no cigs but that was standard before too.
To be honest I feel its a bit dull to have this diet even though I'm trying to mix it up as much as I can. My brother (hes a personal trainer) told me that its fine to eat whatever you want once or twice every 2 weeks to keep the motivation up and to not get sick of the diet. Do you think thats a good idea?
Thanks so much for the detailed responses. It means a lot to me.
Hey again!
Congratulations on taking control of your life and overcoming your barriers :). You have probably done more for yourself in the last couple of months than the majority of people does in years!
You have defined a clear and vision for yourself. You fixed your sleep schedule. You do workouts and yoga frequently. You have improved your nutrition and also determined how you will improve in poker.
Most importantly, you are doing the things that you've set to do, and this will bring you very far in life :).
I think that you have a good attitude towards life and taking the time to write here also shows that ;).
The reward system is also a pretty nice idea, it's good to reward yourself from time to time.
Now to address your problems an offer you some solutions:
My personal opinion (i might be wrong) is that people have the fear of failure because they have constantly been criticized for making mistakes/failing in the past. I would recommend finding an encouraging environment (have you maybe looked at our self-development group?) which will support you and help you improve even more.
Also I think that making mistakes/failing is good, Because if you're not constantly failing, you're not learning and improving. You'd just be staying in your comfort zone, doing the things you know how to do. So make mistakes -> learn from them -> improve :).
Regarding trying to change 5 things in your life at once, I think it's possible, but not for everyone. For most people it's better to change things 1 by 1, but for some people making radical changes works as well. I like your plan here - if it works keep doing it, if it doesn't fall back to implementing one thing at a time :).
Regarding organizing stuff, I think that you might be overthinking this just a little bit, and as you say, it would be better to just go out and do it :). If it works, great! If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. You'll learn something from it and do it better next time ;).
As for going out, this might be a bit strange suggestion, but maybe you could try observing the world? Observe the happy peoples' faces. Observe the children playing. Observe the nature, how beautiful it is. Observe the birds that are flying. Try to actually relax, forget about the past and the future, and enjoy being outside, even if it's cold. Try to find nice things around you, it might make you feel better.
And nutrition-wise, great job on finding those things. I understand what your brother means, it's called taking a day off in the bodybuilding circles. I think that's not a problem, as long as you needn't do any productive stuff on that day. Because eating junk/sweets will not be the best for your productivity ♦. Also try to avoid eating too much crap before you go to bed on this day, as it might make you feel bad the next morning as well and you don't want that.
I think that you'll be able to solve your problems and overcome your barriers, because you have shown that you are a person who takes action and does thinks, not just think about doing them. Keep up the good work, and I hope to hear from you soon with some more good results :).
Thanks for taking the time to reply!
-SF