I got home from work yesterday to find that my daughter had written a story for me. In it, the heroine goes out and buys some strawberries from an old lady. The next day, she goes out to see the old lady again, who promptly denies having ever sold her any strawberries. Swords are drawn, and the heroine kills the old lady before going home to eat her strawberries.
Should I interpret this as meaning that my daughter is:
a) A talented teller of fairy tales, in the style of a modern day Grimm brother?
b) A psychopathic axe murderer in the making, in the style of Christian Bale in American Psycho?
c) A stickler for the truth, whatever the cost, in the style of Richard Dawkins?
After listening to this lovely story, I went to the gym, which left me feeling rather decrepit and prompted an alarming conversation with mrsjb about pubic hair. Apparently her experience of nursing old people suggests that once you reach a certain age there's a high chance of suffering from bald patches in your pubes. This had never even occurred to me before. It's one thing to contemplate losing the hair on ones head, but the prospect of having to do a Bobby Charlton style sweepover in my nether regions fills me with dread. Maybe if I go to the gym often enough my hairies can cling on for a while longer?
I have a couple of poker hands for you too, which will probably come as some light relief. In neither case do I have any real reads on my opponents. The player pool for Zoom is much bigger than that for Rush, so I'm finding that it's taking me a while to accumulate serious stats, especially as I'm only playing two tables at the moment. I think I may make this three soon, as that may be optimal for me. I'm also considering playing a few normal tables for the next few days so that Stars can shower some of their 100 billionth hand goodies on me. I'm guaranteed to get something, right?
1) This hand is similar to the previous hand that I posted, although my absolute hand strength is somewhat stronger. I can't see that there's a better way to play it, but the point it makes, I think, is that it's so much easier to play in position than out of position.
PokerStars | No Limit Hold'em Cash - $0.25/$0.50 - 6 players
Hand #99667402459 - delivered by Pokeit
Hero: $69.15 (138.3 BBs)
CO: $54.47 (108.9 BBs)
MP: $177.32 (354.6 BBs)
UTG: $54.99 (110 BBs)
BB: $50.00 (100 BBs)
SB: $50.00 (100 BBs)
Pre-Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BTN with 8♣ 8♠
3 players fold, Hero raises $0.75 to $1.25, SB folds, BB calls $0.75
Flop: 8♦ 3♥ 3♦ ($2.75) (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $2.00, BB calls $2.00
Turn: 6♠ ($6.75) (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $5.00, BB calls $5.00
River: 2♥ ($16.75) (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $14.25, BB raises $14.25 to $28.50, Hero raises $32.40 to $60.90 ALL-IN, BB calls $13.25 ALL-IN
Final Pot: ($97.75 | rake $2.50) (2 players)
Spoiler
Hero shows 8♣ 8♠ (a full house, Eights full of Threes) +$47.75 BB mucks 4♦ 5♥ (a straight, Six high) -$50.00
2) And speaking of how hard it is to play out of position, it just gets worse when you're >250b deep. Although my PMP level had reached critical when he raised the flop, I called with the intention of running away and crying in a cupboard if he bet the turn. Maybe while I still have my pubes I should have been man enough to check/call him down, but as it was, my inner little girl took over. At least I had a plan. 
PokerStars | No Limit Hold'em Cash - $0.25/$0.50 - 6 players
Hand #99667719390 - delivered by Pokeit
BTN: $132.21 (264.4 BBs)
CO: $84.00 (168 BBs)
MP: $214.86 (429.7 BBs)
UTG: $53.23 (106.5 BBs)
Hero: $139.92 (279.8 BBs)
SB: $78.91 (157.8 BBs)
Pre-Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BB with K♦ K♣
UTG folds, MP raises $1.00 to $1.50, 3 players fold, Hero raises $3.50 to $5.00, MP calls $3.50
Flop: 4♠ 6♦ 7♥ ($10.25) (2 players)
Hero bets $5.50, MP raises $7.75 to $13.25, Hero calls $7.75
Turn: 7♣ ($36.75) (2 players)
Hero checks, MP bets $21.00, Hero folds