Big noses run in our family
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No-one in our family has ever suffered from insanity.
In fact, we rather enjoy it.
There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn, when she came upon a large pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.
She ate ........ and ate ... and then ... she ate some more!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away.
But alas .....she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.
She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She'd found a solution! She realized that if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again.
So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle.
Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air. She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor...
Dead fly..
The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.
Originally posted by Janosikgdy
a bit too insulting, deleted
Kamen
I am from Poland and i dont feel insulted by that joke.
Originally posted by VorpalF2F
There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn, when she came upon a large pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.She ate ........ and ate ... and then ... she ate some more!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away.
But alas .....she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.
She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She'd found a solution! She realized that if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again.
So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle.
Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air. She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor...
Dead fly..
The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.
# best post in a while
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
Mrs Vorpal went shopping to day.
When she got home, there were bags and bags of goods.
She breathlessly exclaimed, "Guess what, Vorpal, I saved over $600 today!"
I replied, "So what, I saved over $90,000!"
"How did you do that?", she said, "You didn't spend anything"
"Exactly-- but I could have"
Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Spoiler
Because people are dying to get in!
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
Spoiler
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
This thread has been neglected for too long ♦ ♦
So today begins a series of daffynitions.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
Bonus daffynition:
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Another couple...
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.