Hi,
I see I am becoming demotivated so much 
Since feb 15 I played only 209 hands and even won 4.5 $. Plus played few freerols but did not win anything after the one in the last post.
And today decided to rewatch one motivation video:
http://www.pokerstrategy.com/video/29271/
I guess its ok. I will comment here what I think.
First thing he said - you need to have a vision. To know what you want. He gave questions:
1. Why do you play poker?
Answer:
- fun to be better than others, especially agro players and take their money.
- money earning in general and having freedom ( not sure actually about this ♦ from how I see many other players playing for living).
- show to other people how good I am, how disciplined I can be, how not lazy I can be to make money from the thing where so little people are able to make money. It means I am much less lazy than they who work by just sitting at the jobs and trying to spend time and take money for hours spent. While there is no any point to spent a single minute without doing it, because then you will not get paid. So that shows how much better you are than regular workers.
2. Which non monetary aspects of poker do you enjoy?
Answered in 1st question.
3. What do you want to achieve in poker long term?
I guess to beat the NL200 at least. At confident winrate, like 3bb/100 at least. Of course beating higher limit would be good, but I am not sure if I want to be one of the best in the world, because I am not sure if that is possible while still having some other interests in life. If I see that I am doing good and its easy for me in NL200, then of course why not learn to beat NL400, and so on.
But NL200 looks sickly far away. So this does not feel realistic at all when I see how long I play NL5 since my comeback.
Later he asked some more questions:
How much money do you need to make per month?
That is a question I am really not sure. Now its enough to make even 650 eur per month. But on the other hand - that does not look good, I want to earn at least the amount I earn in the job. But since its poker - high risk stuff, it feels that the reward should be even bigger thant what the potential is to earn at the job.
And to earn 2000 eur in the job looks realistic. Hard but realistic. I mean our country goes closer and closer to west european countries so year after year it look more realistic, if currently its very hard. Plus with job you have much more safety.
So with poker real motivating goal would be the 4000 eur per month after paying taxes, saving for holiday month. That looks sick amount of money, but if you beat NL200, its probably real. So its 2000 bb at NL200. I done calculation - need to win 2bb/100, make 100k hands on zoom and you have 4000 eur, before tax (in LIthuania 15%) and saving for month holiday.
But I did not include rakeback, no idea how much I could get it, but this should make up for tax and saving holidays.
Of course we need to save for our pension. But by earning 4k eur you can easily save, if you are not spending too much on stuff like expensive cars. oF course saving alone is not good - need to invest somewhere, which is the difficult part.
There were few other questions, but I do not want to tell publicly all the answers 
Mission
What do you need to do in order to get to your vision?
I answered - studty (the right material), not waste time, keep relaxed and enjoy improving.
List specific activities what you can start doing today to get close to your vision.
Watch videos actively studying them, taking notes, watch same video few times. Not just like a movie.
Study 1 topic at a time till I get good at it (since I am not sure when I am good, then till I feel I am ok).
Browse news, facebook when it is left half hour till the sleep. So it means - its the least productive time of day, so doing unproductive stuff it makes sence to do when you are least productive.
I am not sure if its ok to read news while eating. I feel like - I am eating, so not studying at the same time as eating, so maybe its ok to read news. On the other hand - I sometimes get so interested in the article, that I end up reading even after finishing eating, or I eat much slower. Slow eating is good, but probably not the way I do when read article. SLowliness comes from this - I eat smth quickly, then read, then again eat quickly, then read. So while eating quickly, I probably do not chew the food enough. And the point of slow eating should be to chew the food enough.
And also he said thing which makes sense: need to spend as much time as possible each day for doing those activities to improve!
And this do not understand many of my surroundings - friends, family. They treat it like a bad thing when I try to improve or grind whenever I have time. And from they telling, I start do what they say - think that I do not need to do that often, and if I do, I am addicted patient. And thats how I do not reach my goals I should maybe start to tell or even show this video and say that is what they coach said. And I believe they will reply then - oh they are brainwashing you to do this stupid thing even more. Arrgh.
Another interesting thing - he reccomends to frequently review the vision and mission. In mornings, in evenings. In the evenings - to review the progress. Also when feeling the motivated.
Make motivational journal. Write what you did good and liked. Aslo write what you did not like, problems. Can check and think how improve the day.
And if you solved some problem and after 2 months it appears again, then you can view and see how you solved. I am not sure about this part. The problem is the motivation problem? And will see how I solved? Not sure how I will solve, besides watching motivational video.
4. Losing motivation
If loosing motivation 1 day per month, its not a problem, if you browse facebook all day once per month.
But if thats 5 days out of 7 you spend all time at facebook, then need to think how to solve this.
Also what he recoomends - to finish started projects. Otherwise people start many projects but do not finish. But I am not sure what the project here is - go from NL5 to NL200? For me it might take forever. Or maybe it might be to beat NL10 with good winrate at zoom. This is possible in near time. Still I am playing 5 months at NL5 with few bb/100 and I am over EV. So with that speed of improving, even to crush NL10 zoom it looks like 2 more years ♦
Another techique which I like if you loose motivation: take small steps. For example if you lost grinding motivation, set a goal to play 15 mins per day. Its not hard to achieve. If you will feel like playing more that day, you can do that.
And this is interesting. Once I discussed with one guy about sports motivation. He said he bought a lot of protein powder. But before he said he had protein, but he stopped doing sports and the protein expired.
I said to him - why you buy so much protein if you are not even sure if you will do sports? You can buy little amount, check if you have motivation, then if you have, you buy more protein. He says - wtf, when you want to reach goal, you do not think that you will not reach. So since you think you will reach, you buy lot of protein, and also long term ticket to gym. And with the gym its same - people buy ticket, but still fail to go enough, and so waste the money.
I am not sure if loosing money is the best way to motivate you. You will be motivated negatively - you loose money if you do not reach the goal. I like small steps more and I think they work for me. Like I set my goal to do sports at least half an hour per week, and I reach it, and I am happy with it. Now I could increase the time if I want easily I think. But currently I am happy even with that short amount. I try to use oportunities in real life to move, like going at stairs instead of using lift, going to cafeteria without car, etc. So I move still more than half hour per week. I see some people go to gym, but then go by car 500 meters instead of walking.
Also he mentioned - its ok to give up a project sometimes. Like you study for 1 year in university, and see its complete bullshit, then its ok.
Environment also helps. Poker office. Or even be surrounded by non poker players, but by people who study or do business, reach goals.
That was long post. Interested, if at least 1 read all. But thats ok, its for myself also, so I could read some time later what I was thinking
I think I'm in the negative with AA for the past 4kish hands, hahaha 
Nice car! 
VS
