Ola amigos!
Had to get the ambulance out last night.
Had massive pains in lower chest seriously thought my number was up!!!
Been having scans and x-rays and tests all day and am n ow waiting for emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed!
Massive relief as seriously thought I was going to meet my maker!!!
Wish me luck buddies! Morphine is seriously good shit!!!
Originally posted by Eatyourpeas
Ola amigos!Had to get the ambulance out last night.
Had massive pains in lower chest seriously thought my number was up!!!
Been having scans and x-rays and tests all day and am n ow waiting for emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed!
Massive relief as seriously thought I was going to meet my maker!!!
Wish me luck buddies! Morphine is seriously good shit!!!
Sorry to hear that you had this pain, but glad it will all sorted out! Good luck, amigo! 
Sorry to hear about that, I wish you well...
I too like opioids, it's good to still see the bright side haha
Chinese proverb : Give a HUD to a man, he'll exploit one day, but teach him to use a tracker... and he'll complain about his AIEV all his life 
"Si debis pedere, pedis superbe. (If you must fart, fart proudly)" VorpalF2F
I'm 35 and I had my gallbladder removed about 4 years ago. I will tell you this, as the doctors/nurses will absolutely not: The drugs that you're taking, the drugs that they'll be giving you before and during the surgery, combined with the fact that they have to pump your stomach/intestines full of air to perform the procedure, will leave you with a pretty uncomfortable/painful 1-2 weeks after the surgery. It's going to cause horrible bloating and constipation. You'll feel worse than you did before the surgery and wonder what's wrong. Nothing's wrong. Just don't stay on the pain meds one day longer than you need to as they will simply prolong this process. Eat as little as possible, drink plenty of fluids, and do not plan on doing much for a good 10-14 days after the surgery. Of course, if you ask the staff they'll tell you that you'll feel better the next day. Not true at all.
The good news is that when I went through this myself and finally got through the 2 week recovery, I've never had another problem with it again. I did feel 100% better after that.
Mini-update...
So yeah, on Sunday in the night I seriously thought I was dying. Never had constant pain like it!
Ambulance took me in to hospital and only morphine could get me off the ceiling!
After a day of tests they decided to remove my gall bladder as it had stones and other debris inside and was very inflammed.
Had a lot of pain since the operation.
They did keyhole surgery (5 holes) but they inflate your body to make it easier to do and I think a lot of the pain is because I still have a lot of air inside me and it is putting pressure on wounds and other weird places (shoulder esp).
I came home yesterday and I have got tonnes of pain killers (including morphine).
I have got to have 2 weeks doing nothing then another 2 weeks taking it easy. Could be interesting!
Anyway, just wanted to update the faithful followers that I am quite okay even though I am immobile and in pain!
This is a good opportunity to consider my poker and blogging options too I guess! I never considered before that I might be putting people off poker as I make it look so hard!!! (Edit: In another blog somebody said my blog should stop as it puts off new players from trying to make it in this game)
It would be really interesting to hear some other views on that.
Thanks again for the well wishes amigos! I think I received over 1000 messages over the last few days which has been very very humbling.
Much love, speak soon!
Chris.
Originally posted by Alleen86
Sorry to hear that you had this pain, but glad it will all sorted out! Good luck, amigo!
Ty mate!!!
Originally posted by MyFloXyBabY
Sorry to hear about that, I wish you well...
I too like opioids, it's good to still see the bright side haha
Haha! Ty mate!
Originally posted by TakingAShot
I'm 35 and I had my gallbladder removed about 4 years ago. I will tell you this, as the doctors/nurses will absolutely not: The drugs that you're taking, the drugs that they'll be giving you before and during the surgery, combined with the fact that they have to pump your stomach/intestines full of air to perform the procedure, will leave you with a pretty uncomfortable/painful 1-2 weeks after the surgery. It's going to cause horrible bloating and constipation. You'll feel worse than you did before the surgery and wonder what's wrong. Nothing's wrong. Just don't stay on the pain meds one day longer than you need to as they will simply prolong this process. Eat as little as possible, drink plenty of fluids, and do not plan on doing much for a good 10-14 days after the surgery. Of course, if you ask the staff they'll tell you that you'll feel better the next day. Not true at all.
The good news is that when I went through this myself and finally got through the 2 week recovery, I've never had another problem with it again. I did feel 100% better after that.
This is fantastic post thank you. I have heard similar now from you and another two patients. My current symptoms are exactly as you describe! I will heed your advice and eat little and drink plenty for sure! Thank you for this VERY VERY much!
Wow, just reading this. Get well soon mate and sorry to hear the bad news.
Cheers,
Hesticus
Hi Guys!
So I have now been at home for a week now - trying to rest and get better. Unfortunately the pain (not terrible) does not seem to be getting any less!
I think I may have been doing too many things. Only small things like hanging laundry out or tidying kids toys up. But I think I have to stop doing ANYTHING for the 2nd week of my rest to give it chance to heal properly.
I changed some of the dressings on my wounds last night and they seem to be healing up nicely. I think it is on the inside where the issue is!!!
Poker
I have had a good few weeks now to think about where my poker is heading.
To summarise, I have been in a Coaching For Profits deal for 8 months now which seems to have gone backwards for me.
The month before the deal I was riding a wave and taking 25nlz shots...
(It is small sample I know)
And then for the next 8 months it looks like this...
Again, not a great sample but what is really frustrating is I seem to spend most of my time playing 5nlz.
Also I play scared that I am going to hit stop loss and have to move down all of the time.
The main thing is that a lot of the enjoyment has gone out of it lately. My heart is not in the coaching deal any more and I am disappointed in the results.
To be fair to the coach he put a hell of a lot of effort into me and I feel bad that he has not made anything back out of me either.
I guess the time is here where I have to accept that I cannot be good at poker.
Going Forward
My coach and I have ended the deal (hopefully amicably).
This does not mean I will stop playing poker nor does it mean I will stop learning poker!
I love playing this game!
I will go back to playing in a more relaxed and fun manner.
I will also go back to studying some of the mathematics of the game. That side of poker always interested me more than anything so I will go back to ENJOYING my play and ENJOYING my study.
And who knows? Maybe it will be like last time I left a CFP deal and I will start printing money again!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Poker This Week
I will get a lot of time to play! I mean surely sitting at the pc clicking the mouse counts as rest and recuperation right!!!???
I will play 5nlz and just get a sample there for now before thinking about moving back to 10nlz. Main reason for this is I want to play totally relaxed for a while and not care about spewing a few buy-ins here and there.
I am not too sure what I will do for study and improvement right now. I think just playing and HAVING FUN is the priority for at least this next week. After that I might go back to reading Janda or something similar as that is the sort of material I enjoy.
Conclusion
- I need to go and rest as even writing this was a bit tiring
- CFP deal is over
- Play and study for FUN
- 5nlz for 40k ish hands to see where I am at (but mostly just to relax)
- Get well and then decide what to hit hard in life (martial arts, fitness, property, poker!?)
Have a great week amigos! The fun starts HERE!!!
Originally posted by Hesticus
Wow, just reading this. Get well soon mate and sorry to hear the bad news.
Cheers,
Hesticus
Thx mate, all is good just need to put more "effort" into recovering! 
VLOG
Hi guys, VLOG of what is going on lately and my thoughts on moving forward (time stamps below)...
00.12: Emergency surgery!
04.05: Advice if you had your gallbladder removed today!!!
05.02: Poker
05.45: Ending Coaching For Profits deal
06.29: Playing for fun wut?
07.00: Gone backwards!
07.35: Standard lines?
08.30: Total confusion
09.00: Me and CFP deals suited?
09.36: NOT QUITTING!!!
10.20: Offers of help
11.38: Let's open up!
11.42: Over rolled
11.55: STOP FOLDING!!!
12.22: Nothing has worked so change something
12.55: True bank roll and stop loss is futile
13.40: Sucker for punishment?
14.26: KMA?
Have a good weekend, see you at the nosebleeds! 
Today I was reviewing sessions and in one hand I folded here...
My immediate reaction was that this might be close and that it could be a continue.
I have done most of my working out and it seems like an easy call to me now, especially as it is 2.5x open preflop AND it is only 0.5x flop cbet.
However, I am not good at deciding which hands are better to continue with on the flop in some instances. I know it is not an exact science but I was wondering...
Should I prefer AJo and ATo as calls on flop (quite likely the best hand + could improve to best hand BUT I am hoping for it to check down unimproved). Or should I prefer J6s (with BDFD that can turn equity and I can bluff river if turn goes XX anyway)?
(Assuming villain is unknown but exploits would be nice to know too)
If you defend J6s passively pre, but don't have a good postflop plan for it. I'd just muck it pre, saves you 1to1.5bb per hand. (not even wagering in things that could happen postflop like flush over flush, pair over pair etc).
As I am still off work I am trying to study a lot.
I have just had a brief period (10 days?) of playing tonnes (too many tables and very low focus) and although I lost lots of buy-ins (at 5nlz) it was good for me to blow off some steam.
I will post in here what I am studying...
Read Mental Game Of Poker
Mental Game Fish
- I am a mental game fish because I "play badly when the stakes are too small for them to care" - it is a big possibility.
- I am a mental game fish because I "Feel like a failure when they lose a hand that was played profitably" - hmm, maybe???
How To Use This Book
"When rushing to understand your mental game, it can be easy to get overloaded with information" - very relevant for me so fifteen minute sessions only!
The Adult Learning Model (ALM)
It is absolutely essential that I understand something mathematically to even attempt to get to the stage of Unconscious Competence. All of my previous coaching has been "do this and win" coaching (which may or may not be profitable) but for me I absolutely must know the WHY to compute it.
22 minutes done! Up to pdf page 24 "Inchworm"
Biggest take-away - I am not sure I know anything about poker to the level of unconscious competence - I don't believe anything anybody taught me any longer!!!
Originally posted by Varune
If you defend J6s passively pre, but don't have a good postflop plan for it. I'd just muck it pre, saves you 1to1.5bb per hand. (not even wagering in things that could happen postflop like flush over flush, pair over pair etc).
That is a pretty good point. Though also I could try to learn how to play it postflop profitably too. Isn't folding preflop too weak/exploitable?
you shouldn't care that much about getting exploited on nl5/10, no one is playing GTO there. so you exploit them harder.
Well yh, don't they cbet 0.5x on this board almost 100% of their air/draws? I can exploit that can't I?
If you wager in the fact a person only hits the flop about 33% and he cbets ~100%, he should be holding air 67% of the time (even more if u considers that he probably checks back hands like 2nd pair/middle pp from time to time). So yea that's exploitable 
It's goes the other way around too tho, if u call and fold 100% of the time when u miss, that's ~67% aswell then. if he cbets 100% /w a 50% sizing he's printing money in that spot as it only has to work 33%.(and he's heavily exploiting you here if he really cbets 100%) 
Yesterday I did check-fold flop in BB 9/17 times (53%) which is a little higher than I would like.
This morning I reviewed those hands and think it is just sample issue and all were okay.
Only close one is this...
It is a board villain is going to cbet bluff this size often (I think) but it is also hard to realise my equity if I call (I am basically hoping he is one and done).
I do have odds to call against a polarised range full of his air + semi-bluffs + strong hands so maybe this is in my call once range.
Basically I am calling 66 here and folding 44 but it could be a mistake?
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The Mental Game Of Poker (Study)
Inchworm
In the bell curve the left side represents the C-game where decisions are terrible. JT gives some examples of when these bad decisions might be made...
- "Mind going blank in a huge pot" - this happens to me sometimes but usually when I have worked 10 hours then play in the evening and cannot expect to play much better. I wonder if we will find some way of improving it...
- "You're bored and your terrible bluff gets called" - I would never say "bored" but it happens sometimes that I make a play first and then realise it is a mistake because, for example, villain is not a reg (less then 100bb). I think this is also a focus issue due to weariness BUT it could be something else entirely (like thinking I am better then I really am OR thinking these things are not important OR not valuing the money enough).
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"The inchworm concept illustrates how consistent improvement happens by taking one step forward from the front of your bell curve followed by another step forward from the back" - so improvement happens at both ends, improve my weaknesses AND improve my best.
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There is a client story from "Samoleus" that makes me think I might suffer from two conflicting things... I do not care about the money enough BUT I also am too attached to short term results.
I think I have become less attached to the results since leaving my CFP deal (but not anywhere near detached enough) and this is mainly because I have some specific areas to improve on and am focused on those rather than results. Also having the 1 buy-in stop loss/drop down rule affected me badly I think.
So at the moment I am happy just if I played better on the flop because I KNOW I need to play better on the flop to get anywhere and I also know WHY I need to do XYZ (thanks to Ivegotyrouts) on the flop. Even if I lose 2 buy-ins (like yesterday ).
As for not caring about the money... Not sure, could be both good and bad. Have a funny feeling I WILL care when I get to NL100+.
Hopefully I will get more focused on playing the most EV+++ in each spot. This does seem to be happening...
And that is 25 minutes on mental game done!!! Up to pdf page 26 "Two Common Learning Mistakes".
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I just worked out my continuing range on that A55s board above and it is pretty close but if I fold 44 there I think I am a over-folding a little. Probably no biggie after rake but a good exercise nonetheless.
---
I am going to play 30 mins then study 45 to 60 minutes around 4 times today. Will also find time to watch or read something motivational.
I will walk down to school to pick kids up later. I am still sore on the inside of two of my wounds but it is not far at all so should be good.
Have a good day amigos. Keep persevering, you never know what is just around the corner!
"Basically I am calling 66 here and folding 44 but it could be a mistake?"
What is your flatting range? surely you have quite a number of 5x. much more than your opponent I would guess.
I think you can check raise a lot of the situations you have been showing recently. they often have very clear good barrel cards a heart 3/2/4 in this case and its kind of hard to float the trashy cbet part of his range. same with the k7d hand. if people are cbetting than calling a high/ bottom pairs/random floats then you should widen your value range to include some tp's even.
Yesterday I folded versus flop cbet (SRP, HU) 43% IP and 45% OOP (small sample).
This is close enough to what I am aiming for and on review of the hands I think they are all played well.
I will do 3 more flop (facing cbet) analyses today...
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The Mental Game Of Poker (Study)
Two Common Learning Mistakes
Ignoring Weaknesses: Because the back end of my skill range isn't moving much my whole range (bell curve) is getting flatter. It is taking too much mental effort to take in new concepts without also improving my weaknesses.
JT mentions two consequences of this approach to learning that are VERY relevant to me:-
- "You have a lot to think about and often get confused or miss important details of a hand" - definitely!
- "Playing your best takes a lot of energy so it doesn't happen that often" - Probably! Though possibly partly due to trying to do too much.
Solution: "You must stay focused on learning the correction to your weaknesses until it is trained to the level of Unconscious Competence" - Okay I get it! I fold(ed) to 3bet way too much AND fold(ed) to cbet way too much! I will get these sorted before I learn any new material!
Just for the record: In 2017, before my operation (June) I had these ridiculous stats... FvCBflopIP=56.7%, FvCBflopOOP=59.8%, Fv3B=68.3% (and turn and river do not get any/much better). I am working on the flop stats for now and they have reduced a lot already. I will continue to work on them until I am unconsciously competent!
The Process Model
This is something I have focused well on lately (thanks again to Ivegotyrouts). I am working especially hard on evaluation and analysis. In fact I have made videos of my evaluations every day and most of my analyses are hand written now and pinned up on my wall!
One day soon the results will catch up with doing all this other stuff!!!
Preparation
My preparation tends to change too often.
Some things JT suggests that I will implement 100%:-
- "Review your long term goals and set goals for the session"
- "Review a list with the corrections to your common poker mistakes"
- Use meditation and visualisation to steady and focus your mind"
28 minutes mental game study done! Up to pdf page 28 "Client's Story"...
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Plenty of study coming up today and a bit of play (I tend to reward 45 minute study with 30 minute play!).
---
My wounds are sore again today (well 2 of them). I am going into work for a few hours tomorrow as it is month end but I am dreading going in car (seat belt) and generally dreading the mountain of work.
---
The more I learn (mental and strategy) the more I realise I was never ready to crush poker. I was blind but I keep digging and vision is gradually coming.
Good luck at the tables amigos!
POKER VLOG
Quick update of what has been going on this week...
Have a great weekend - your dream is calling you!!!
Weekend was a bum rap for poker.
Friday I went into work for a few hours then had to do moral support for wife in the evening (she was decorating/building her carnival float).
Saturday was Carnival Day so I had son almost all day which was great! We went and watched the Carnival Procession go by twice and it was possibly the best one ever! (I had planned top take both days off poker).
Here is a pic of the float my wife and her Brownies made...
I have got more good pics but they have got all the kids on and apparently I shouldn't share them!!!
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Sunday went not to plan! Had a "family altercation" on Saturday night and had to do some emergency repair work!!! Fortunately everything seems to be sorted fine now and hopefully it is forgiven and forgotten!
---
I just did a review of my last session.
Here is a hand I folded but my instinct in review said it might be closer than I originally thought...
I know it depends somewhat on my preflop range but after working out how much I can continue on this board I think I am not going to be folding any off-suit broadways here.
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Mental Game Of Poker (Study)
Preparation (revisited)
JT's client says how important warming-up is to him. I know that when I was winning at a good hourly (after leaving CFP @ BPC) I was warming up like a beast. I meditated, watched some short hand analyses and visualised. Must get back to this 100%!!!
Performance
I must make sure I am not evaluating hands that have finished while I am still playing! That is what review is for!
Results
I have to stop quantifying my results and use more qualitative methods. How well did I play, how good was my focus, did I tilt much?
Evaluation
Post session grade the quality of my play instead of using money won/lost to measure performance.
Analysis
Review the session but preferably not immediately after (for me).
Understand that although this is not the most fun part of being a poker player but be sure that it is likely the most valuable!
I think I have made a nice adjustment here already. Over the past 9 days I have studied/analysed way more than I have played. This has always been a strange one for me as I had the (incorrect) belief that I needed to just play tonnes because my playing time is so limited.
Use the Process Model Every Day/Session
Reminder...
PART III - EMOTION
"EMOTION IS NOT THE PROBLEM. It's the key to mastering your game."
The answer is not necessarily to KILL emotion.
Emotion is not the cause of the problems but rather is a symptom of problems (often in mental game).
Emotion serves a valuable purpose because it highlights the flaws in my game.
Realise that getting emotional (angry) after a bad beat, for example, points to a lack of understanding of variance and poker. So that emotion has been useful as it is pointing to my weakness.
Resolution
If I can start to view emotion as the symptom and not the problem emotion becomes purely positive. I can use emotion to resolve the underlying cause and then remove the negative emotions.
This is the only way to develop true mental strength. Simply ignoring or blanking out emotions does not bring about resolution - they are still in the background just waiting to come out.
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And that is another 25 minutes of mental game work done!!! (up to pdf page 33 "Malfunctioning Mind")
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So, I have already done 80 minutes of study today (session review, hand analysis, mental game).
I will do another 90+ minutes of study, play for at least 90 minutes and meditate.
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I really feel that things are going in a good direction here.
I am not saying I am getting any better at poker yet but I am definitely becoming what I would call a "professional".
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Mother Nature put a dream inside of us all. You either lose it and stay unfulfilled or you keep it, fight for it and die for it and become your best self. Destiny is calling...
Have a good day amigos, remember, this is not a practice run...
Yesterday was a good day for achieving volume targets for study, play and mental game etc...
[x] Play 90 mins
[x] Study 150 mins
[x] Mental game 20 mins
[x] Meditate
[x] Visualise
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Already done 50 minutes study today and now it's mental game time!!!
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The Mental Game Of Poker (Study)
Malfunctioning Mind
This basically states that "when the emotional system becomes overactive, it shuts down higher brain functions" or in other words I am not able to think straight!
Although it is not possible to control this (because it is natural fight-or-flight response) it is possible to gain control of my emotions and improve my mental game by:-
1. Start to control my emotions before they reach the "emotional threshold" and shut down my higher brain functions (i.e. my ability to think).
2. Utilise this with the Adult Learning Model. So when I am getting to the emotional threshold it shows me exactly where my weaknesses are. Or in other words, it can only happen if something is not learned to the level of Unconscious Competence!
Two Causes Of Emotion
I already read that emotion in game is caused by flaws in Unconscious Competence like bad beats and mistakes but there is another place emotion is created: The Mind (Holy ****, not that old chestnut again!!!)
JT says that when I become aware of anxiety, anger or low motivation "the mind can make that emotion multiply". This increases the amount of emotion I have to deal with, therefore making it even harder to stay in control. E.g. I could get mopre anxious because I recognise I am already anxious.
Accumulated Emotion
After reading this paragraph I wonder how much I could be suffering with this.
It seems a hell of a long time since I had a decent winning session (just looked, it has been 18 days of play since I had a 2 buy-in win [and it was just about 200bb]).
Firstly it seems emotion can rise and fall just within a single day. It can often arise in session but can often be gone before the next session.
Sometimes it takes a bit more to remove the emotion (like hours after the session and doing a workout or something).
However... "Sometimes emotion doesn't completely disappear". So this means that the next time I play, if the emotion isn't gone from before, I am not starting with a clean slate!
I must quote this...
"It may not seem like much, but this extra emotion (tilt, overconfidence, doubt) means that your threshold has lowered and less emotion than normal needs to accumulate before you cross it. Consequently, you tilt quicker, you protect a win faster, or your mind goes blank after playing fewer pots"
I quoted it particularly as that word "doubt" hit me pretty hard and I think it is a big issue for me.
I don't think I "protect a win faster" but I think I fold to try to "save" money - like I know I am about to make calling mistakes because I am tilting so my "go to" protection is to fold all of the time.
This could be massive to me.
I know it is a lack of unconscious competence (now) so hopefully I can work on it. In fact studying all of these flops where I can can continue (instead of folding all the time) is improving my knowledge and might help take me towards unconscious competence in some areas.
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Ok! That is 30 minutes of mental game study today and that was bloomin' HARD WORK!!!
I think I learned a lot again!
(Up to pdf pg 34 "Spectrum of Emotion")
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Now I am going to meditate, visualise and be thankful for this amazing life!
Then I will watch a poker video, play for 30 minutes and then repeat a few times!
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One day amigos, one day my poker dream is gonna come true!
Have a great day - NO REGRETS!
