Accomplish the objective and get the best out of myself!

Week 9

BR week 7: $142
BR week 8: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Soooo, the reason why I wasn't able to write something is because I was in Luxembourg for business Pretty good start of a working life to be invited by a manager to join our biggest customer, I must definitely recognize that It was a busy week and worked long hours but was definitely worth it. Colleagues started to know my working style, how hard I work but lack experience in the field. I guess that's the price that you pay when you want change in your life (perhaps once too often) I do think I will be able to like the work I do and especially now that I can enjoy my master degree and grow within a company. However, more and more people start to notice my passion for a healthy lifestyle, I totally live up when talking about it. There are many ways I can still go and feel so incredibly free while thinking about it. I have no higher goals for myself in terms of education, something I was working for in the last 10 years. However, I do like to keep learning and training my mind. Let's see how this further develops and if the company is satisfied with the work I deliver

Try to work on my confidence. In small steps it works but a few weeks ago I had quite a fallback so I definitely need to stay focused on this. A friend of mine said that I shouldn't be asking too much of myself and, in effect, from others. He is definitely right but figuring out a balance and learning to let things go is definitely something on my 'to do' list.

Last small thing is, hope to hit the gym on a regular basis any time soon because it is something I haven't been doing in the last 2-2,5 months Summer is coming and I definitely want to be in shape again

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 10

BR week 8: $142
BR week 9: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Try to keep the blog alive Definitely getting better at the work. Still far from there but I feel, at the same time, my confidence is getting more stable and growing a little bit. I think it could also have to do with the certainty I have in life atm, which I did not have before. The only thing that bothers me now is that I would have to work for a great part of my life and when I'm done with it, I am done with the largest part of my life. Something that I shouldn't think about too much because we all have to go through this phase. Most of us can be lucky that we are alive and healthy.
I also found a way to keep going to the gym but not 4x per week anymore I think. Rather, 2-3 times per week but if I manage to keep it up for 3 times per week and I watch my food carefully, I can still grow and have a low-fat percentage before summer.

That's it for this week, am preparing for the weekend because I'll go skiing for the first time Wish me luck All with all, I must say it's a great start for my working career to go to Luxembourg and Austria in a month time

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 11

BR week 8: $142
BR week 9: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Was away for the weekend, first time skiing, I was with the company. What a great experience! Am so happy I've done this and it went pretty well. At first, I wanted to cancel but the partner convinced me to go anyway, which was a good thing to do. Now we all got to know each other much better. One tip is not to drink too much with colleagues because chances are you will say something stupid, which could haunt you for the coming years. Fortunately, I hadn't done too much damage Perhaps small things but the same goes for the other way around as well so I guess it's also partly humanity.

I am also improving in going to the gym in a more structured way so that should be good as well. I also started to eat a bit less carbohydrates and more proteins and unsaturated fats. Going less on the cheatdays and lowering fat percentage. Am finding a way to create abs since I really want these to be bigger for the coming summer so if anyone has suggestions on how to achieve this without eating only rice, chicken, and broccoli, let me know

That's it for now everyone, will try to send out a message coming Monday - Wednesday when I'm off for the gym. Unfortunately, I have limited time for the time being to write something on my blog during daytime.

Cheers and have a good weekend:f_drink:,

Hesticus

Week 13

BR week 11: $142
BR week 12: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Hope all is well with everyone Have been really busy with work and travelling. Feeling I am slipping away with this blog.. Hope I can keep it up, I really like this.

Still working on my confidence and it's going better by the week. I take notes of certain types of feedback, read about it and apply it in practice. It is really going well and I definitely enjoy it. I have an app for how I feel everyday and I can see that the day when I receive the feedback, it's not going OK, however, when I've applied the feedback and see the positive results it brings me, the day is amazing and couldn't get better

Work is getting better and see where my strengths lie in a better way. However, I just need to try to act normal to my supervisors because I am still too afraid of not doing my job OK. I think it's kind of bullshit when I think rationally about it but in the moment I don't have it. Perhaps with the things I apply with my confidence I can try to apply these to my supervisors as well.

The gym is still going OK but no more 4 times per week I can tell. My life just made a 180 flip ♦ and need to find some stability in it. I am OK with it now I am working more on my confidence but it definitely gives me relaxation to work out after a full day of work. Still watch some YouTube vids about food, workouts and confidence courses. I really like these three things.

That's it for this week. More to come over the coming weeks.

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 15

BR week 11: $142
BR week 12: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Another week forgot to update, guess doing it around Mondays isn't a good plan. Sometimes I'm away for the weekend as well (like last weekend) so then it just slips my mind. Anyhow, I guess this should be fine like this as well when I have my weekends a bit off and time to write something small.

Work is going OK, I got through my probation period so am on a fixed contract now. The plan is now to see in the coming year what I really find of this job because even though I said I like the job, I do not see myself doing this in 10 years for example. I'm okay with being honest about it because I know that there is a high need for auditors and I see the potential if you have the affinity with IT.

I am still working on my confidence and it is getting much better nowadays. I am more confident about myself, I'm getting standards and thus being a bit pickier (in a healthy way). I have also way less trouble in approaching women and just say what I think, especially when they are beautiful, I just say it right away. Positive thing about this is, that I can get positive reactions and
I also can say way more positive things to friends or even guys out of the blue. Negative thing is, you are always dealing with emotional beings and thus unexpected things can happen, which could also be the beauty of it, being exposed to experience.

I still hit the gym 3-4 times per day and watch my food. I am trying again to lower my fat percentage by losing weight but very slowly because I know I can become very skinny in the end. This is not what I want. I do want those ABS before summer although it is quite difficult to me somehow. Perhaps my food is not good enough or my training schedule should be changed a bit. I am just trying new things every season to see how it works.

That's it for the last 2 weeks actually. Seems like the weather will be good in the Netherlands so going to enjoy it
Have a few commitments but that won't keep me from sitting outside on a terrace and enjoy my freedom

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 16

BR week 14: $142
BR week 15: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Going into week 16 already It was a good week with some further progress on the areas I'm working on. Not much else going on but I guess my schedule is pretty packed as it is atm Of course, I have some future thinking of where I will be and what I will do but I guess I should just go here with the flow. I'm pretty OK as it is right now and of course I want change in my life; I would have to work for it myself. In my view, I am triggering this change still enough to be happy in the state I am in atm.

Have a great week everyone!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 18

BR week 16: $142
BR week 17: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

I am almost considering eliminating the standard text above here So long it doesn't annoy me too much I'll leave it here so I can trigger myself to write something about my life and progress every now and then. It will probably not be on a weekly basis because there is just less development than before. Before I had my Masters I wanted to finish and it was an emotional rollercoaster. I wasn't sure of where to live, what kind of work I was getting, how my life would be when I am going to work and the anxiety of thinking that life will be kind of over once you work. Of course that is all nonsense but I was overthinking these things to a way to big extent.

Work is going well, am happy with what I have and still working on myself in the gym and also in confidence. My confidence is growing, fortunately. Perhaps that is why I write lesser on this blog. When I'm in doubt about something, I mostly come back to here and write about this. Not sure if it is all effective or that it is just to clear and structure my mind and then move on.
I also get great results from the gym and people around me are kind of irritated by my discipline I have in myself I guess that's a good thing because they admire this. I also try to help the people around me who have lost the way a bit in self-improvement and want change in their life. I start to feel happy for other people when they are in a relationship, even though I get a tiny little shock when a friend tells me so. However, that is something I need to let go. It has no use to project your enviousness on someone else. That means you are not satisfied with yourself and who you are. I'll keep working on myself and see where this is heading.

That's it for today, hope everyone will have a great week and keep on working

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 19

BR week 17: $142
BR week 18: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

A quick update.. Working on all the areas still. Seems it all starts to pay off. People want to have my eating schedule and see how my body is getting bigger (in a positive way) in the last months, I get compliments about my approaches to women and I finally start saving some money from work Friends are sometimes even a bit frustrated/irritated how much discipline I show all the time, it's just mind-boggling. Anyway, I don't try to be a show-off but I start getting really proud again about my results and probably even more importantly, about myself... Just want to share it with you guys. It doesn't mean I'm already finished.. There is still much more for me to work on and I believe I can become more of an alpha male with the right practice in the necessary areas. In the end, when I want to start my own business, I want to lead people and not from an authoritarian point-of-view but from a philanthropical one. Give something good back to what I've been receiving in the last years. There is still much more to explore and luckily I see that it doesn't have to stop with only traveling.. That's just one part of exploration. So much more to achieve.

Hope you all do well who read the message!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Hey buddy! We miss you at Skype ♦ Haven't been online much?

I have been but not sending a message. Apparently, Skype is not registering it as being active

Week 21

BR week 19: $142
BR week 20: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Small update again. It's the same stuff I keep working on and it is really getting to pay off. I see my muscles, confidence and choice of dates growing. I have the feeling I've almost re-found my inner self.

Next Saturday I give my birthday party and definitely look forward to one of the best days of the year, and probably, of the last couple of years. Can't wait to have almost only people in 1 room who really meant something in my life

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 22

BR week 20: $142
BR week 21: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Had another great week behind! Some struggles between but I guess that's a learning process, which I have to go through. Yesterday had my birthday party as mentioned before, great to see all of my friends in one room and see them enjoying their time.

Aiming for another good week with some new try-outs within my goals. Look forward to some results!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 23

BR week 21: $142
BR week 22: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Another great week I had. Just to share some thoughts in this thread is a nice way to structure my thoughts as well.

We had some training for 2 days from our job about self-development and I saw that I was really doing a good job but still there are some areas where I need to work on. For instance, when I receive feedback, it's not the person I attack because of the feedback. Rather, I become very restless in my head. I was shown how I can cope with unexpected situations that I can focus on how to improve this. Especially when someone is giving me negative feedback, I'll go in the defense but stay very quiet, I shut down. It's the emotional threshold, similar as with the MGOP is explaining. This is still caused by overthinking. I am too afraid that what I say is rude. When I went (in my view) all out, people around me said that it wasn't rude at all. One person said 'and even if it were rude, someone is bashing out on you, you at least have to ask for clarity on this matter'. Being witty in these situations is not the way for me. Rather, focus on asking questions for clarity is the way for me. This will be my tool.

Building confidence is a longer path than I anticipated. It's been 2 years already in which the first 2 years I discovered that I have a fear of failure from the MGOP. Now I've been working on my confidence for 6-7 months again and there is so much stuff that I can learn. People don't see it that I lack confidence and I guess it's because I am already above average. However, it's just not enough for me, I want something more to give back to the people I care about. I also like the attention I get from women, I see the opportunities I create with all this. However, I still mess up when I start texting because I keep overthinking about what to say, still try to be witty, funny, etc. It's good to be funny but everything I read about tells me the same: The texts and words you say have to be congruent with yourself, body language is key. However, there is a power in words but it doesn't always work for everyone and every person is different. Still much to figure out here guys.

That's it for it now. After a week rest, I hope I can make a full week of training again as my ABS are finally getting bigger Am so proud of what I've achieved over the last year with my training. Let's see how far this part could bring me.

Cheers,

Hesticus

Congrats on the Abs and I hope that you continue to have good weeks ahead
If I fail I look at it as a learning exercise

Thanks man! Nice to hear

Week 25

BR week 23: $142
BR week 24: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Few weeks have gone by and keep working on my goals. Still discovering new things about sports and myself and working on these. Seems that I discovered that in order to make the best out of myself and be taken seriously, I would need to demonstrate my standards instead of making a joke out of something I said (especially when it is something people don't really understand why I was saying/asking the things I said/asked). For sports, it's the way of how to swim properly when working towards a 500m swim. It's rather difficult and it needs more work than I anticipated. Hopefully, I can keep myself together and aim to achieve what I want to achieve

Not many updates I'd like to share from my part, perhaps when something totally new is happening I definitely will come back to you.

Enjoy the week!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 27

BR week 25: $142
BR week 26: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

A couple of weeks have gone by and still do all the trial and errors in my areas. Things are looking good and getting better each week. Though still not the exact way I want it to be. However, as I hear very often is sometimes to just let certain things go, even though you know you can control it. Sometimes to have the feeling of letting it go, can give you even better results. That's what I try to do nowadays. Finding a way to make things congruent with myself and yet become the best version of me.

I still like to write on this blog; it's my first and it really gives me a small reflection of what happened during the last week(s), even though it's not anymore poker related. I know it should be and perhaps somewhere else blogging would be a better idea to get some other public opinions. Will look into this as well in the near future.

For now, all the best to you guys and hope you are having a great weekend ahead!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 28

BR week 26: $142
BR week 27: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Same stories as last time. I see that it's really going towards 'letting things go' when working on my confidence. Neediness is a pretty harsh thing to deal with and the only way to get rid of that part is just to let it go, have the abundance mentality. Working on that.

Still much into sports, although was a bit sick the last 2 week from a festival, so I lost a bit of muscle. Yesterday I took part in a triathlon for 500m swimming, which was doable but very very tough Happy I took part on that but definitely just as happy to focus more on muscle building again.

That's it for this week. Hope you all have a great one as well

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 29

BR week 27: $142
BR week 28: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

Holidays! Some time to focus more on sports, family, friends, traveling and free time. Will find out in the coming weeks what I want to do with this blog since I know quite well what path I want to follow at the moment. It's just that this blog has some kind of emotional value for me. Hard to let it go

Still busy with self-improvement as well but I'm taking a small step back because I discovered that I keep being needy when I want something too much, so also this I have to let it go. Just keep telling myself that I let it be for the time being. First focus on myself and inner happiness. The rest will follow. Of course, easier said than done (for me) but there is just no other way here.

Hope everyone will be having a great week!

Cheers,

Hesticus

Week 30

BR week 28: $142
BR week 29: $142
Hands played: 0
BB/100: 0/100
Net profit/Loss: $0

It kind of works letting things go and focus on myself. Haven't seen much results of course in one week but I at least feel a bit more free. Not to much pressure in the sense that I constantly need to prove myself. I just need to go to being myself again.

I definitely like the free time I have now. Going to the gym does me feel good and meet lots of people now I'm going to the gym in my hometown. Have quite some nice events for the coming weeks so look forward to all the good things coming

Still haven't figured a blog where I could write as well. This one's still on my to-do list.

Cheers,

Hesticus