Bad Jokes

she sold the boyfriends ♦ ♦ ♦ nice joke...the women nice thinking ♦

English is a goofy language, because all nouns are the same. So in the sentence "She sold them and bought a house" it is hard to tell whether "them" means cell phones or boyfriends.

This lack of distinction is how a lot of jokes are created.

Here a couple of oldies:
This is from a set of instructions on how to cook a turkey:

After taking the turkey out of the pan, scrub it thoroughly with steel wool.

From a newpaper article:

Last night a police office shot a man with a knife

I'm going to guess he actually used a gun...

Peace,
VS

When I grow up I want to be a retired lottery winner

Q: How do you make antifreeze?
A: Hide her thermal underwear

I've created the world's most powerful laxative using a combination of fern and palm fronds.
The marketing slogan will be, "With fronds like these, who needs enemas"

That should not be in "bad jokes".
It's the vest joke ever

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless

Q: What do you get if you mix your Dad's red paint with his white paint?

hmmmm....
After that I spent 10 minutes or so trying figure out how "hide 'er a bad barber" could be worked into that but finally I had to google it...

There was a good old barber in Hyderabad.
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: “I am sorry,
I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.”

Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a “Thank You”
Card and a dozen of roses waiting at his door.

Another day a Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber
and he again refuses to take the money.

The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another
“Thank you” Card and a dozen of Cakes waiting at his door.

Some another day a Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes
to pay the barber and again he refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there,

Q: What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Finally this year I have a date for Valentine's Day