Life After The Farm - From Noob To Ninja

Sup dudes, your hero is back with another episode. Last time on "Life After The Farm" I was playing SNG and MTT exclusively...

Well that shit didn't go as planned. FUCK ME. I did donkey ballz in SNG - my friggin game. And MTT,well lets just say AA and KK are as useful to me pre flop as a limp dick in a fucking orgy. I still managed to finish the month of May up, 50 bucks...I titled off about 120 or so and if you count the losses in SNG and MTT I am lucky to even be up.
So I told myself fuck this shit, we gonna leave SNG for awhile (and MTT, for now) and focus exclusively on cash (I'm a bipolar poker player, who isn't?).

For June I've been playing cash, NL20. But I have made a bunch of changes. Before my session starts or after I do a review and I use Equilab, shit man I found I that if I click that tiny graph button it shows you all the combos of hand villain can have on what ever board I put in, this is so powerful. It's like a discovered a new weapon, and it has help soooooooooo much. I've also pulled back on my aggression a bit, not much but now I am a little bit better at which boards I decided to bluff vs which opponent. I don't just barrel aimlessly anymore either, on every street I first take a sec and think how the turn and river affects my opponents range and my own and I've been able to extract value with some really marginal hands. But I still need a ton of work, as constantly thinking like this drains me for some reason WTF??? My sessions are now between and hour or hour and a half at most so far this month. As soon as I start to loose focus I stop playing, no matter how much I am up (or down, haven't had loosing session this month, but its still early hehehe). One of the biggest changes I made was not sitting HU with REGs, OMG, every time I see a reg sitting alone at a table I tell myself just leave it and wait in line at a full table. I FUCKING MISS REG WARS. I think it makes for a better blog but tilting ballz doesn't help me get better at poker. I also follow a few blogs here and everyone always sets out their goals and that is super inspiring when they fucking hit (like one outing a bitch, fuck yeah). I am going to set out some goals for June.

June Goals
BankRoll = 44 Buy ins @ NL20

Win 25 buy ins at NL20. I am up 5 buys in atm.

Do review after or before every session and post hands.

Watching the cash game training vids I have, I can't remember name of the series I found it on youtube, free resource.

Continue reading Harrington on Hold Em.

DO NOT, I FUCKING REPEAT DO NOT FUCKING TILT <- Very important

FUCKING RUN GOOD <- I think this is the most important goal

Good luck @ the tablez

Originally posted by jiffybag
FUCKING RUN GOOD <- I think this is the most important goal

♠_thumbsup:

Mini June Update

Up 6 buy ins @ NL20 -> 19 to go

I took yesterday off as I stayed up way to late the previous night watching "Invincible". Any of you watching that show? It's super powerful. I wish I was Omni Man cock, I could probably something as a super heroes cock
My strategy of "fucking run good" is fucking working!!! Now why the hell didn't I think of this before, I feel so fucking stoopid, if I had employed this strat years ago I would be on Poker After Dark by now tilting Hellmuth, instead I'm updating this fucking blog and chasing 25 buy ins and NL20, WHAT A FUCKING LOOSER
I have 20 dayz left to hit 19 buy ins (UP, UP, 19 BUY INS UP, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT) , I can do this shit, focus

Later Noobz

Up 4 buy ins @ NL20 -> 21 to go FUCK YOU POKER

DO NOT, I FUCKING REPEAT DO NOT FUCKING TILT <- Very important

It's funny how "Fuck This Guy Tilt" can cloud your judgment. The last thing I said before I check shoved the turn over "THAT FUCKING GUYs" pot bet is "He's doing this to often, I'm all in." just ignore the notes I've collected on him for the past 2 fucking hours.

I also 3 bet K3o against another fucking guy who was just fucking........aaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Its obvious my run good strat is not working so Poker After Dark is gonna have to wait...fuck.

Okay, I'm just going to work harder on my tilt issues, goddammit. This is like the hardest one. Ego. I want to crush these cunts. I'm better than these cunts. I can out play these cunts. And now I feel like a cunt.

I'll post the hands tomorrow, even the fucking stupid 3 bet....:why:

I can do this

Run better than me at teh tablez

Played a 50min session now, up just over half a buy in @ NL 20 but not counting that shit yet until after this evenings session, we might do DONKEY BALLZ later

Look at this hand, I had just lost a small pot the hand before. The session was rocky, a little up and then even and then a little down. I've played with villain a few times and he is a passive calling station. I don't have a note on him as to whether he bluffs.

NL 20 4 handed

Villain UTG $19.60
Hero BTN $18.71
SB $18.75
BB $8.15

Hero A♦:9♥: -> I'm on the BTN with A9o and in GOD mode and want to isolate either the SB or that limping bitch UTG, I'm either way ahead or way behind as they both limp everything. I wanted to raise it more but the SS in the BB made me pause.

UTG calls $0.20, Hero raises $0.60, SB calls, UTG calls -> Fuck they both call I am so fucking dead....

Main Pot $2 -> My money until its not

Flop
J♦: 8♦: 9♦: -> Oh fuck yes, I'm starting to get a chubby as they both check their 2 pair, top pair, bottom pair, gut shot, OESD, FD, KK, QQ, JJ

SB checks, UTG checks, Hero bets $0.80, SB folds, UTG calls -> I'm the kinda man that bets his NFD

Main Pot $3.60

Turn
2♣: -> Are you fucking kidding me???

UTG checks, Hero checks -> I'm the kinda man that checks when the turn bricks sometimes.

Main Pot $3.60

River
T♦: -> WHY WHY WHY WHY THIS FUCKING CARD????

UTG raises $18.20 and is all in :spit:, Hero -> WTF IS THIS???

I tank, and go through it all again, his bluffs, which on this river don't exist, his nut hands which there are only 2 (well 3 KdQd, Qd, 7d) and his hands that he thinks are the nuts K high flush or a fucking straight? I almost called, but then the ghost of Gus Hansen whispered in my ear, "You didn't put that much into the pot, the brick on the turn slowed things down and you not playing bad, you down a little but you can bring this back, if you call and he has the straight flush you could tilt your ballz off until July next year". I folded

Gus Hansen Rulez

Originally posted by jiffybag
I'll post the hands tomorrow, even the fucking stupid 3 bet....:why:

I can do this

Run better than me at teh tablez

I played about 200 hands of FL $0.50/$1 PLO8 vs a guy that played 89/64
He lost about 50 bucks.
Sadly there were 4 other players at the table, so I didn't get it all -- or any of it really, since I also started playing too many hands "to compensate"
<sigh>

Originally posted by jiffybag
Played a 50min session now, up just over half a buy in @ NL 20 but not counting that shit yet until after this evenings session, we might do DONKEY BALLZ later

Look at this hand, I had just lost a small pot the hand before. The session was rocky, a little up and then even and then a little down. I've played with villain a few times and he is a passive calling station. I don't have a note on him as to whether he bluffs.

NL 20 4 handed

Villain UTG $19.60
Hero BTN $18.71
SB $18.75
BB $8.15

Hero A♦:9♥: -> I'm on the BTN with A9o and in GOD mode and want to isolate either the SB or that limping bitch UTG, I'm either way ahead or way behind as they both limp everything. I wanted to raise it more but the SS in the BB made me pause.

UTG calls $0.20, Hero raises $0.60, SB calls, UTG calls -> Fuck they both call I am so fucking dead....

Main Pot $2 -> My money until its not

Flop
J♦: 8♦: 9♦: -> Oh fuck yes, I'm starting to get a chubby as they both check their 2 pair, top pair, bottom pair, gut shot, OESD, FD, KK, QQ, JJ

SB checks, UTG checks, Hero bets $0.80, SB folds, UTG calls -> I'm the kinda man that bets his NFD

Main Pot $3.60

Turn
2♣: -> Are you fucking kidding me???

UTG checks, Hero checks -> I'm the kinda man that checks when the turn bricks sometimes.

Main Pot $3.60

River
T♦: -> WHY WHY WHY WHY THIS FUCKING CARD????

UTG raises $18.20 and is all in :spit:, Hero -> WTF IS THIS???

I tank, and go through it all again, his bluffs, which on this river don't exist, his nut hands which there are only 2 (well 3 KdQd, Qd, 7d) and his hands that he thinks are the nuts K high flush or a fucking straight? I almost called, but then the ghost of Gus Hansen whispered in my ear, "You didn't put that much into the pot, the brick on the turn slowed things down and you not playing bad, you down a little but you can bring this back, if you call and he has the straight flush you could tilt your ballz off until July next year". I folded

Gus Hansen Rulez

Haahahahah one of the best posts ever on Pokerstrategy. There should be a forum hall of fame and this deserves to be in it

Up 5 buy ins @ NL20 -> 20 to go - I CAN DO THIS - maybe

I even ran into that cunt I 3bet bluffed last night and took some back. I made one big fuck up against him, I raised my KK when he limped in the SB, I should have checked as he pots every damn flop, stoopid non GTO poker brain.

Tomorrow is another day, I WILL MURDER AT THE TABLES!

Originally posted by VorpalF2F

Originally posted by jiffybag
I'll post the hands tomorrow, even the fucking stupid 3 bet....:why:

I can do this

Run better than me at teh tablez

I played about 200 hands of FL $0.50/$1 PLO8 vs a guy that played 89/64
He lost about 50 bucks.
Sadly there were 4 other players at the table, so I didn't get it all -- or any of it really, since I also started playing too many hands "to compensate"
<sigh>

I hate that, cause you sit there and watch everyone take some off him with garbage hands and when you try he shows you his ballz. Or what's even worse is you end up the value for everyone at the table <- I've done this so many damn times...

Originally posted by SiKWiThIt

Originally posted by jiffybag
Played a 50min session now, up just over half a buy in @ NL 20 but not counting that shit yet until after this evenings session, we might do DONKEY BALLZ later

Look at this hand, I had just lost a small pot the hand before. The session was rocky, a little up and then even and then a little down. I've played with villain a few times and he is a passive calling station. I don't have a note on him as to whether he bluffs.

NL 20 4 handed

Villain UTG $19.60
Hero BTN $18.71
SB $18.75
BB $8.15

Hero A♦:9♥: -> I'm on the BTN with A9o and in GOD mode and want to isolate either the SB or that limping bitch UTG, I'm either way ahead or way behind as they both limp everything. I wanted to raise it more but the SS in the BB made me pause.

UTG calls $0.20, Hero raises $0.60, SB calls, UTG calls -> Fuck they both call I am so fucking dead....

Main Pot $2 -> My money until its not

Flop
J♦: 8♦: 9♦: -> Oh fuck yes, I'm starting to get a chubby as they both check their 2 pair, top pair, bottom pair, gut shot, OESD, FD, KK, QQ, JJ

SB checks, UTG checks, Hero bets $0.80, SB folds, UTG calls -> I'm the kinda man that bets his NFD

Main Pot $3.60

Turn
2♣: -> Are you fucking kidding me???

UTG checks, Hero checks -> I'm the kinda man that checks when the turn bricks sometimes.

Main Pot $3.60

River
T♦: -> WHY WHY WHY WHY THIS FUCKING CARD????

UTG raises $18.20 and is all in :spit:, Hero -> WTF IS THIS???

I tank, and go through it all again, his bluffs, which on this river don't exist, his nut hands which there are only 2 (well 3 KdQd, Qd, 7d) and his hands that he thinks are the nuts K high flush or a fucking straight? I almost called, but then the ghost of Gus Hansen whispered in my ear, "You didn't put that much into the pot, the brick on the turn slowed things down and you not playing bad, you down a little but you can bring this back, if you call and he has the straight flush you could tilt your ballz off until July next year". I folded

Gus Hansen Rulez

Haahahahah one of the best posts ever on Pokerstrategy. There should be a forum hall of fame and this deserves to be in it

Thank you, I try and see the funny side to poker nowadayz, it used to be so serious for me, 70k hands per month and what not.

Up 4 buy ins @ NL20 -> 21 to go FUCK YOU POKER

Fucking deja vu, there's a glitch in my matrix. Overall I am down 3 buy ins @ NL20 since Sunday or Saturday, I can't remember when last I won, but it was the last time I was bragging that I can still do this. I took 2 days off to study, but after today I don't think it helped. There was some spew, BUT, it is not as bad as it was last month (I think). I was able to quit my sessions instead of sitting and trying to win my money back. After this evenings stupid river call, I didn't even play another hand, I just sat out and came to post hands and bitch to you guys, fucking misery loves company, TELL ME YOUR BAD BEAT AND STUPID HERO CALL STORIES TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I don't know if I will ever get used to the feeling of sitting out once a fish stacks me. My ego says its for them to sit out or to reload, that isn't for us, WE ARE GODS. It's such a bitch thing to do, now I know what Gus Hansen was feeling on HSP when this happened to him, I KNOW ITS NOT THE SAME BUT IT KINDA IS, right?
If I can't out luckbox these cunts I am going to have to out work them. I've got 12 dayz left and I'm gonna have to be like Burt Reynolds, cause Burt Reynolds can win 21 buys ins in 1 FUCKING SESSION.

To Do List for the rest of the week:
Watch Combinatorics videos - I can do this
Do hand reviews and post the fucking hands <- Also important
THINK IN RANGES - THE CORRECT ONES <- Very important
Be like Burt <- The most important thing in my life right now

Later noobs

Originally posted by jiffybag
Up 4 buy ins @ NL20 -> 21 to go FUCK YOU POKER

Fucking deja vu, there's a glitch in my matrix. Overall I am down 3 buy ins @ NL20 since Sunday or Saturday, I can't remember when last I won, but it was the last time I was bragging that I can still do this. I took 2 days off to study, but after today I don't think it helped. There was some spew, BUT, it is not as bad as it was last month (I think). I was able to quit my sessions instead of sitting and trying to win my money back. After this evenings stupid river call, I didn't even play another hand, I just sat out and came to post hands and bitch to you guys, fucking misery loves company, TELL ME YOUR BAD BEAT AND STUPID HERO CALL STORIES TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I don't know if I will ever get used to the feeling of sitting out once a fish stacks me. My ego says its for them to sit out or to reload, that isn't for us, WE ARE GODS. It's such a bitch thing to do, now I know what Gus Hansen was feeling on HSP when this happened to him, I KNOW ITS NOT THE SAME BUT IT KINDA IS, right?
If I can't out luckbox these cunts I am going to have to out work them. I've got 12 dayz left and I'm gonna have to be like Burt Reynolds, cause Burt Reynolds can win 21 buys ins in 1 FUCKING SESSION.

To Do List for the rest of the week:
Watch Combinatorics videos - I can do this
Do hand reviews and post the fucking hands <- Also important
THINK IN RANGES - THE CORRECT ONES <- Very important
Be like Burt <- The most important thing in my life right now

Later noobs

How do study ranges en keep Them in your head? And how do you apply it on the tables?

Question from one noob to another

How do study ranges en keep Them in your head? And how do you apply it on the tables?

Question from one noob to another

That is a great question. Cause at the tables and this doesn't happen all the time, I can think through the hand perfectly, assign Villain a range, pre flop on the flop and turn and river. But what happens most of the time is like I'm on auto pilot, I can only see or think about certain ranges, I don't know if that makes sense. I don't see the big picture. I'm only going through a very small range. And I'm bleeding chips.

I'm reading a PS article now about how to memorize a hand range. If we put the work in we can't stay shit forever can we?

Originally posted by jiffybag

How do study ranges en keep Them in your head? And how do you apply it on the tables?

Question from one noob to another

That is a great question. Cause at the tables and this doesn't happen all the time, I can think through the hand perfectly, assign Villain a range, pre flop on the flop and turn and river. But what happens most of the time is like I'm on auto pilot, I can only see or think about certain ranges, I don't know if that makes sense. I don't see the big picture. I'm only going through a very small range. And I'm bleeding chips.

I'm reading a PS article now about how to memorize a hand range. If we put the work in we can't stay shit forever can we?

Exactly learn from failures and get better.
What article is it?

Exactly learn from failures and get better.
What article is it?

This one, https://www.pokerstrategy.com/news/content/How-to-memorise-a-poker-range_115334/

Spoiler, it didn't help

Gawd damn...I would love to play in the WSOP someday, but my ass gets tired and starts spewing chips at the 2 hour mark in my sessions. I don't know how you guys that play live poker do it. I've played poker for almost 20 years (well more like started almost 20 years ago and picked it up again recently) now and I've still only play live poker twice, a SNG that I played with clients and owned them up and then left ♦ and with friends of friends where they were asking me who's turn it is to play I didn't win that one.

Up 6 buy ins @ NL20 -> 19 to go. I think we know how this is gonna end, but I CAN DO THIS UNTIL I CAN'T.

What I can't believe is I am only down 4 bucks today (rake back will bring me to even), it was a brutal session. I am getting better at getting up from the table when I feel I am not focusing on the game anymore, it don't sting as much as it did the other day but I still don't like it (the bitch in me tells me I am being a bitch by leaving, but fuck (but fuck lol) that bitch).
I did fucking tap out in a tournament now (no big deal, its points 2k tournament so it don't cost me nothing - I got a shit load a points so I can play till the end of the year maybe longer), I was basically just clicking buttons at that point so it was okay busting out, A8o vs AKs.

Study has been going okay, watching a series on Combinatorics and how to apply it to range thinking, the math is super easy. Going to do a review tomorrow sometime and see how it works if I use some of my new found poker Combinatorics/Range thinking powers.

Shit to do for the week:
Work -> FUCKING STOP SLACKING OFF
Study -> DON'T FUCKING SLACK OFF
Read -> ACTION FUCKING DAN HARRINGTON
Be Like Burt -> THIS IS FUCKING EASY

I can't do this...:facepalm:

It's got nothing to do with me being down or anything like that. Had to rush my mom to hospital yesterday morning (not covid). She's fine for now. But I'm way to fucking tilted to deal with idiots right now:rage: I'm not going to play like this, I would just spew it all.
I'll see how things are in a few dayz and then maybe play some and try and get to ten buy ins, but I really don't know.

Shit to do for the week:
fucking stare at the screen or something???

Up 6 buy ins @ NL20 ->

Originally posted by jiffybag
It's got nothing to do with me being down or anything like that. Had to rush my mom to hospital yesterday morning (not covid). She's fine for now.

It's wise to sit out for a bit.
It is doubly hard to give poker your undivided attention when it is, well, divided.

I hope your Mum continues to recover back to full health...

All the best,
VS

Originally posted by VorpalF2F

Originally posted by jiffybag
It's got nothing to do with me being down or anything like that. Had to rush my mom to hospital yesterday morning (not covid). She's fine for now.

It's wise to sit out for a bit.
It is doubly hard to give poker your undivided attention when it is, well, divided.

I hope your Mum continues to recover back to full health...

All the best,
VS

Thanks for the kind words

Sup noobz
After this morning session Up 7 buy ins @ NL20 ->
After this evenings session Up 4 and a half buy ins @ NL20 ->

I played my first session yesterday after taking the week off. I thought during the time I'm not playing maybe I can get some study in, but things at home didn't allow me to do that and I also just didn't feel like it. Whatever, I only need to be better than my opponents to win at poker and I am 70% sure I am better than everyone I play against whenever my fucking hand holds.
My first session started with me playing NL50 - I'm a fucking baller with 19 buys in at NL50. I take shots now and again at 50 if I see a big bitch fish. I saw just the big bitch fish that always runs good against me in the damn 1k and 2k rebuys. This fish finally had a full stack and I thought based on how this bitch plays its worth the risk. I then proceeded to loose some of my damn money to this idiot who then lost it to the nit reg that was sitting at NL 50 and NL100 tables. Fuck both of them. I got to even against the fish and then bitch slapped the reg for 2 bucks before he stacked the fish
So I thought fuck this session, 2 bucks is 2 bucks and I'm gonna do something else.

This afternoon.
It didn't go too bad this afternoon. I ended up a bit...

This evening.
I told myself not to play (cash) until my tournament started, I always seem to do this. I wasn't really feeling like I wanted to play and then I did. I load up a couple of tables an hour or so before the tournament starts. I'm playing a 2k rebuy and normally play cash along side of it. I've done this lots of times but normally when I don't feel like playing I will un register from the tournament and go do something else, but since I didn't play whole week....I think you see where this is going.

FUCKING SHORT STACK PIECE OF SHIT he was the fist one to take my money and didn't even have the decency to loose it back to me.
And then the session became one of those where every hand you have misses and it slowly drains you, you keep topping up your stack and that is as far as it grows. And then you start playing stupid, REAL FUCKING STOOOOPID and after playing STOOPID instead of stopping you do something more STOOPID, you keep playing because there are fucking fish at the table and I AM BETTER THAN THEM.
And then you turn trips multi way on a Ah board and there is a new fish at the table potting the turn FINALLY A FISH HAS TOP PAIR AND I GOT HIM BY THE BALLZ (but at the back of your mind you saying you only got the 4th best kicker and remember combo tropics shit, there are other combos of that hand (but you tell yourself to shut the fuck up cause there is also less hands that beat you and more that you beat)) HE POTS THE RIVER (have J9 one time) I CALL and he shows me that his BALLZ ARE BIGGER THAN MINE (and it wasn't a medical condition)
I'm not impressed but I'm also down more now...So I finally wised up and sat out.

The 2k Rebuy
I didn't win.

The good news or what passes for good news nowadayz
There isn't any unless you count me having more time to play poker since our country is going back into lock down.
My Mom is feeling a bit better, but that's like poker, some dayz you run good and others...a bit better is like being up 3 bucks and that's better than nothing.

Goals for rest of the month:
Don't loose that 4 buys ins or we are seriously going to fucking tilt.
Don't catch covid until after we are up 25 buy ins @ NL20.
Study -> I've noticed that if I don't do any study or hand reviews then my sessions end up like above <- stop not doing this, is that said right? Fucking grammar
Channel Burt Reynolds and not Bitch Reynolds

Later noobz