My journey as hard working poker player and how it's changed my life as a mentally disabled person

Originally posted by craigcu
apologies, I was meant to say I feel stronger in vanilla mTTs than PKO MTT. I understand PKOS are softer but I'm poor at hunting bounties therefore I'm only really playing for 50% of prize pool.

Now that I've took down a sky poker tour which is a UK event, My next aim is to take down a scoop or wcoop event because my sky poker tour trophy is feeling all lonely and I do believe it will come.

I watch a lot of streams with bounty tournaments, the calls are so much lighter when the bounties are bigger.

I don't have a trophy (yet) but we have a nice series running currently and there are lots of seats as well into the wsop. I might try for one

My bankroll challenge hasn't been very good this month. My performance on GG isn't too bad but my performance over on stars is dreadful. It's still early days this month and I am still really proud of how things went last month. Scoop itself hasn't been very good but again it's really early.

When it comes to PKOS one of my biggest issues at this minute in time could be trying to get my opponents all in. I've noticed quite alot of improvements with my game play when I face shoves, I'm starting to find the gambles well and have a really good idea how wide we get to call. the non all in spots preflop as a covering stack are what mess me up the most. I had two spots today which left me in fumes.
The first spot was this one where I was UTG with 88, I fired an open pre and was hoping MP would shove his 5bb stack but no he just called making the flop go 4 way, the flop itself was Q62 I fired a bet he went all in and the BTN then shoved. In a freezeout I am snap folding here every day of the week but as a PKO I decide to call and the BTN woke up with a Qx.
Was this call a 88 bad probably but the real sicking part was the rec himself flatting pre, if people are not gonna shove pre then why would I want to open such a wide range?

The other spot which got me so annoyed was A2s where a 35bb stack opening from HJ and then I in CO call A2s knowing I cover him well, the way my opponent played postflop is what annoyed me, he goes 33% on flop then on turn he fires 50% and on river he used a non all in size.
The runout itself was AQJ x x
would I have called a river shove?
Unlikely, it might be a decent bluff catcher but even so I doubt people triple barrell enough at micro stakes.
The fact people don't triple barrell enough on micros and his non all in bet size on the river makes me question if I should just stick to my usual chip EV range because the whole reason we get to call wider in PKOS is for the bounty, if my opponents are not gonna fire bluffs or go all in by the river I don't really see the point in me calling wider.

On solution I do question is if I should introduce a much wider non all in 3bet range pre and a heavy raising game on flop. know already if people don't 4bet wide enough pre and don't B/R wide enough on flop our own 3bet game and flop raising game go through the roof maybe I should do that even more so in PKOS.

My bankroll itself is currently 4.3K

Originally posted by craigcu

The first spot was this one where I was UTG with 88, I fired an open pre and was hoping MP would shove his 5bb stack but no he just called making the flop go 4 way, the flop itself was Q62 I fired a bet he went all in and the BTN then shoved. In a freezeout I am snap folding here every day of the week but as a PKO I decide to call and the BTN woke up with a Qx.
Was this call a 88 bad probably but the real sicking part was the rec himself flatting pre, if people are not gonna shove pre then why would I want to open such a wide range?

What stack did you start with? How much did you raise? If you where targeting the MP you should have raise 5bb from the start to make it call his full stack (but that is ok if you only have a big stack 50-100 BB ) If you raised 2bb with 88 I think you made a mistake since if MP just calls like he did here, it normal that almost everyone that has a decent hand or wants to gamble will call just to see the flop, and 4 ways it's almost a guaranteed that someone hit the flop (the Q in this case)

Also what did the MP had since he went all in post flop?

Originally posted by craigcu

The other spot which got me so annoyed was A2s where a 35bb stack opening from HJ and then I in CO call A2s knowing I cover him well, the way my opponent played postflop is what annoyed me, he goes 33% on flop then on turn he fires 50% and on river he used a non all in size.
The runout itself was AQJ x x
would I have called a river shove?
Unlikely, it might be a decent bluff catcher but even so I doubt people triple barrell enough at micro stakes.
The fact people don't triple barrell enough on micros and his non all in bet size on the river makes me question if I should just stick to my usual chip EV range because the whole reason we get to call wider in PKOS is for the bounty, if my opponents are not gonna fire bluffs or go all in by the river I don't really see the point in me calling wider.

On micro stakes when people triple barrel like this almost every time they have it. ( unless you have some reads on the player ) So I think you could have folded the turn and let it go there. He might had Ax better then yours, even 2 pairs and he might had the nuts on the flop. Usually what I notice on micro stakes is that when a player bets 33% on flop and 50%-70% on turn they have it. You could have also raised the flop and see, then you might have saved yourself some chips.

You'll notice I've not did much updating in the last fortnight. It's certainly not been the greatest of fortnights that's for sure. I am grinding poker itself on a regular basis but my actual game play is becoming a real mess. Most of my emotions seem to be coming from scoop events and against regs. A large portion of this emotion seems to come from river actions where I've attempted a bluff and ran into a hand I did not expect my opponent to have or spots where I hold the nuts and found my attempt to trap not as successful as it should have been. Poker has come along way recently, the days where you could tag people a rec based off high VPIP or super low VPIP are more or less gone. I need to change my thought process of a rec and base it more so around post flop play rather than just high VPIP. I'm rarely seeing many high VPIP type players these days even in events like scoop however I am witnessing masses of big leaks post flop so it's time to start tagging people based on their post flop play rather than preflop play.

Originally posted by mariussica88

Originally posted by craigcu

The other spot which got me so annoyed was A2s where a 35bb stack opening from HJ and then I in CO call A2s knowing I cover him well, the way my opponent played postflop is what annoyed me, he goes 33% on flop then on turn he fires 50% and on river he used a non all in size.
The runout itself was AQJ x x
would I have called a river shove?
Unlikely, it might be a decent bluff catcher but even so I doubt people triple barrell enough at micro stakes.
The fact people don't triple barrell enough on micros and his non all in bet size on the river makes me question if I should just stick to my usual chip EV range because the whole reason we get to call wider in PKOS is for the bounty, if my opponents are not gonna fire bluffs or go all in by the river I don't really see the point in me calling wider.

On micro stakes when people triple barrel like this almost every time they have it. ( unless you have some reads on the player ) So I think you could have folded the turn and let it go there. He might had Ax better then yours, even 2 pairs and he might had the nuts on the flop. Usually what I notice on micro stakes is that when a player bets 33% on flop and 50%-70% on turn they have it. You could have also raised the flop and see, then you might have saved yourself some chips.

I'm with you, I find that people's bet size on turn with range is so out of line, I'm starting to look into various nodelocked sims myself where I've assigned my opponents just a 33% bet size for the turn and the results show me getting far more aggressive on the flop with premium value and strong blockers because my opponents are quite simply not putting the chips in on the turn as bluffs

Another week of scoop has past and I'm more than glad. scoop itself hasn't been well for me this month, I've passed the bubble on a couple of occassions but I'm more than glad it's nearly over. normally my average buy in is less than $6 but this scoop and world festival has seen me play far more of the low stakes buy ins, also I've played numerous sats in attempt to try and get into the highly end of low stakes buy ins. Playing all these gigantic field events numerous sats and buy ins bigger than my usual buy in range can certainly feel painful when things aren't going my way but all it takes is for me to bink 1 event and boom I'm a big winner.

although I've lost a lot in MTTs this month I haven't actually lost that much with all the rake I gained at the beginning, also I did bink an MTT at the start of the month as well plus I made a massive cash prize across the whole of last month so who's to complain.

My scoop and world festival grind is over and it wasn't a very good one that's for sure. I lost $174.63 across the whole month which is roughly 23 buy ins for my average buy in however if I were to exclude rake I'd have lost $330 even so I could have been alot worse off and I did make a massive profit across the whole of last month and was more or less break even in the other 3 months.

I'm more disappointed by the number of times I burned money registering non holdem scoop events and registering MTTs which I give up playing at the end of my sessions. I was getting too wound up with losing all-ins and not winning max value with my premium hands, I also questioned my river calling in multiple spots, their was numerous times where I was very confident my opponent had a better hand but instead I still calls and would react with annoyance after showdown. My mental poker game was certainly getting worse as the month went on but this will happen when I am playing loads of big field buy ins including numerous ones which are higher than my average buy in so I can't complain.

It might feel bad having had so many loosing days across the month but I haven't actually lose that much in cash, and when playing a long series these things will happen because you can win a gigantic prize by winning just 1 scoop event.

I am having the next two weeks off the poker tables as I head off to my next live poker event, the sky poker tour in glasgow. I will be back on the online poker tables Thursday 8th june.

My goals for June is to keep up with my exploitive studying. I also need to do more work on 3bet pots at 20 and 30bb because I've seen far more non all in 3betting used in ICM spots than a standard chip EV spot.

Good luck in Glasgow! #shipit

I'm back from the poker tour and it was a story of two things

In money terms it was awful having lost almost 1K in cash and spent so much on drinks but in social terms it was absolutely thrilling.

I do love going to these sky poker tour events, the people who go their regularly are great friends with me. It's certainly been a costly event in money but having friends as great as these I see on this tour more than makes up for that.

The poker itself begun nicely for the first few levels of day 1 but that was about it. I could be here all night taking about the whole event but it's a rare thing so most the stuff is not worth talking about, however one thing I have took away from the live poker event is how much more aggressive I should be with weak equity hands out of position vs certain opponents.

Live poker has got far more whales than online poker but their are still lots of them online. I already know we need to play a tight aggressive game but that doesn't mean giving up bluffs 100%. Firing no cbet bluffs at all vs these ranges would be like saying I don't fire cbet bluffs in the SB vs the BB. I certainly don't expect people to defend as widely as the BB will defend but some opponents certainly like to defend most suited combos and Axo therefore ranges will certainly be widish. you can argue a whale will also over call these wide ranges post flop, especially the over cards, backdoor draws and weak pairs across the street but that does not mean I should give up bluffing full stop, it's just a case of firing more small bets which need least fold equity, getting an idea how wide the obvious calling range of a board will be and keeping track on the times my opponent has reached showdown with value hand he should clearly fold.

I know from my study we can range cbet so many flops vs a BB range, I know from my study we get to double barrell bluff when BB is not doing enough raising with his weaker parts of his defending range. The point is we can certainly make +EV bluffs vs ranges which are wider than theory and the more wider they are, the more +EV our bluffs will get. This is where multi street notes come in, If My opponent is know to defend really wide across the streets then we will slowdown as bluff and just wait for value, if my opponents are gonna bluff raise with their garbage again we should slow down with our bluffs, however if it's an opponent which is not making these extremely wide hero calls on river and floats with their air as a call then bluffing weak equity is perfectly fine to do because they should certainly have an over folding range especially if the board itself is extremely dry.

My congratulations on winning the lottery

My break from poker is over and I'm back to my usual grind again. My first week back on the poker grind was a brilliant one. I've had 5 very long sessions in the last week and they all came out in profit.

My first session was on Wednesday 7th where I managed to make $102 in profit. A decent run in $10.80 mini festival bounty blast and making last two tables of $5.40 mini festival fifty stack were key to this and if it weren't for the poker gods I might have made more when QQ binked a set vs my KK followed by KJs losing to K9s, As well as those two deep runs I also cashed out in various other micro festival event on GG that day. My run on stars good over on stars didn't show much sign of change, I made 1 small cash out their but at the end of grind I thought to myself it's time to have a full break on stars and get back over to 888 poker.

Thursday's session was looking like a session where rebuys cost me because I did make numerous cash outs in the GG micro festival events but on this occassion I had spent almost as much on rebuys as I did on my first shot. Here comes 888, I was back to playing those vanilla tournaments and final tabling $11 voyage would save my day. I may not have took the tournament itself down but I certainly notice some decent improvements in my game play, One piece of ICM play I am impliementing very well now is a non all in 3betting range as a shallow stack, I was originally a push fold type player but my study in HRC has made it quite clear what parts of the range want to 3bet non all-in as a bluff and how the value hands look, another part of the game tree I see improving is donking especially river donk shoving, for months I was getting really aggressive vs small bets where the ranges should be using more polarized size, My plan was to check raise turn and bet river but I found multiple spots where people showed up with nuts. Now I have started to impliment an exploitable river donk bet tactic where I just call turn and if the river is a scare card I believe is not so good for their range I will blast the river. The spots I found this really effective are spots where the turn is wet, here I find it great to do more floats and then when the river completes the draw I blast hard.

Friday's session was a different story altogether, I begun this session nicely with a FT in $15 deepstack but the FT itself was nothing like that $11 voyage. The voyage itself was like a FT filled with tight passive opponents along side the odd aggressive reg, I use to find these FT an issue but my improvement in non all in 3bets has given me the counter attack to these people as a middling stack but without me actually risking the whole of my own stack. The $15 daily deep stack also had alot of tight opponents in fact it had less aggressive opponents that that $11 voyage however it did have one extremely aggressive big stack whale and I found it an absolute night mare playing vs him why? The difference between a big stack whale and an aggressive reg was the fact I would struggle to fire the bluffing part of my 4bet range and opening was easy either because he'd call really wide even when my own range is extremely wide. Part of me thinks post flop risks are the best solution vs these people because their defending ranges pre are gonna be extremely wide so it won't be that hard to cbet them post flop and if they have it well you just have to accept it.

Sunday was again a nice profitable day the story this time was one of cashing out in the biggest events when I managed to make a good run in the $25 GG masters Sunday special and $25 Sunday mini main, I also had a great run in $8.88 crazy eights and $8.55 bounty hunter special. Their was also another FT over on 888 this time it was $16.50 bigshot's turn to see my on the FT I finished that FT in 5th place when 65o got lucky vs K9s but some could argue I should have exited in 8th place when I over folded what was a margin call in theory as AQs facing a 4bet shove from UTG.

The best of my run good came on Monday when I managed to take down $22 PKO rumble for a prize of 1K but looking back at my mood you'd think how on earth did I ever take that down!!! It begun in dreadful shape when I was going out most the tournaments before we even got near the bubble, I was shocked to have even made it past the bubble of the PKO rumble itself. As I got close to the bubble of $22 PKO rumble things started to change, the poker gods turned in my favour and give me numerous double ups, this is where things really got into focus, I was running really good in $10.80 daily main but when it reached the bubble however I was on the FT of the PKO rumble at the time which may have cost me a great run here am I annoyed? No I wanted to put really hard focus into this PKO rumble FT and in doing so I managed to go on and take it down.

If I knew this run good was coming I'd have updated this blog each day. to put it all into simple terms
I made a total of $1189 profit from 5 consistently profitable poker sessions where I made 3 final tables and took one down, a bit of bad luck also cost me the chance of two FTs and I may have blundered a 3rd on monday night.

That's not all, I have also changed my diet, I have binned ultra processed ready meals once and for all having learned that having the regularly will make you less relaxed. I am now having a home made meal on every grind and something tells me this is partly the reason for all these run goods, I am feeling far less tired towards the end of these long grinds and when things are going wrong as they did on monday I just hung in their and kept on going.

This run good certainly lasting a long time. I have made yet another day of profit and made it onto another FT. Could I have won more maybe, the only thing which seems to be missing from my game is firing all in bluffs as a covered stack. I had one spot today where I flat K5o from BB vs CO, flop was T84hh it was checked round. turn card broad a 4h, The BB has got a massive amount of nut equity in it's range and with Kh5o I fire and over bet. This is where the leak comes in, I should be following through with a 2nd barrell on the river but the number of times I've seen opponents call river with hands they shouldn't I opted to give up.
I do this far too much at the minute, this is where note taking is so handy, If my opponent is unknown then I should just fire this river bluff when I think It's +EV in theory, if my opponent were to show up with a hand he shouldn't then I just make a note on him over calling river and stop firing bluffs at him in future

It sounds like you're running well, and have a handle on how to improve.

Keep it up!

The great run on the poker table has ended and not only that I am also taking a break from poker. Poker itself has changed my life so much in recent year, it's reached the point now where I am gonna become a fully independent person who no longer needs a care worker. Things have been a little stressful personally given that this change in life came as a shock, it was seen on the poker table itself where I was witnessing myself getting very annoyed with every losing hand. I've had a great month already and thought it would be a good time for me to take a break from the poker tables and get myself ready for this next step in my personal life.

I do wish I could post a link to my sky poker diary because that has great detail on how I've grown over the years and what poker itself has done to me. My full time poker journey itself is still in the early stages but it will continue to grow for sure. I was in a stressing state over the weekend as I was getting all confused about my next step in life personally but I am feeling calmer now. Part of me does want to get back onto the poker tables but I know my mind is not in the best of mental states ATM therefore I am gonna have the rest of this month off. I will certainly still do some study work in the time and might have the odd shot at a tournament but I'm unlikely to return to full time grinding until next month

As far as bankroll challenge goes I made $984.94 in total this month and that is from just 9 days worth of play so I am really proud with my overall game this month and have great belief in this great form continuing once I return next month.

I said before I wasn't doing anymore grinding this month, well it turns out I'm wrong. I was getting quite bored last week and was getting desperate to return back to the tables.
My first two days back on the grind did not go well at all, Did I lose a lot? No, I actually just give up quiet quickly. I gave up on both occasions whilst still in the middle of a tournament, I was having trouble with even the simplest of decisions, there was certainly something mentally wrong. I did say big changes are happening as I step away from having a support worker and become independent. Losing my support worker was extra emotional, not only was he a great support worker, he was also the only close friend I have at home, giving him a thank you gift for all the work he’s done to me over the years seems to have. I might have lost a great friend but poker will never go away, my number 1 goal now is to keep up this poker lifestyle and work my way up the stakes.

I began grinding poker back in 2012 and I was never expecting it to change my life the way it has, this game has provided me with a great hobby and a way I can put my life to good. Before poker I was a really unfit and lazy, I felt like committing suicide on numerous occasions where I felt my life was totally worthless. Poker itself has transformed my life, this game provided with me a great hobby and something that I could do in life, I am far more serious about looking after myself knowing this is so important if I want to be mentally fit to play. I met a few fellow poker players online who have been willing to help me out at live poker events and I'm happy to do them.

I am now an independent person; my big goal is to keep on going with this poker lifestyle because I do love it to bits. I am so proud with how well my autistic life has improved over the years and so glad I discovered poker. I do believe poker was the game changer for me, if I did not discover poker, I believe my life would still be like a lazy, unfit one where, I'd be still attempting to commit suicide thinking my life was worthless.

Hey Craig! Just found this thread (and this forum tbf, hadn't noticed this one for blogs, else I'd have started my own thread already!) Really found your journey an interesting one, as I can relate to many of the elements. I too have ADHD and asperger syndrome - the latter being self-diagnosed. I also suffer with mental health issues, depression & anxiety featuring particularly. Whilst poker has been a great help to me in coping with those ADHD behaviours, I do find it hard at times, particularly online when I'm alone with the screen for company, when the ADHD causes me to become bored and impatient during those inevitable card-dead periods, and waiting for a playable hand causes me to make horrible -EV mistakes, or worse still, mistakes that pay off and make me think I'm playing better than I actually am! 😂😭

Like you, I began playing over a decade ago, for me it was during the Moneymaker boom of the early 2000's, mostly live with the occasional online session. Having only just learnt to play, I won a £20 rebuy tournament in the local casino (actually a five-way chop of a £8k-ish pot - yes, those unlimited rebuy 10bb bingo events where a sight to behold. RIP free money) on my first ever visit and believed I was some kind of poker god! It didn't take too long for the fields to get tougher, and bigger, and I found that the local casino's £1/£2 cash game was seriously soft, and one could simply sit and wait for a big pair and have the drunks queuing up to give you their stacks! I found myself between jobs in 2004 and spent much of that year as a "professional" poker player, paying the bills from the winnings at that cash game. It wasn't all live, however, and in 2005 I had a big win on a Tribeca skin, placing #1 in a £10 freezeout and used that winnings as a bankroll to fund 4-tabling SNGs. I also qualified via satellites to a few of the major live events of the period, a couple of EPT main events, and a smattering of GUKPT. Alas, life took over, and before the end of the 2000's I had largely given up on poker, aside from the occasional home-game, where I would regale (bore!) friends with stories of that year where I played poker professionally.

Post lockdown, life for me has nose-dived and amongst other things, I don't have much of an income to fund a decent bankroll - yes, I've gravitated back to poker, and boy has it all changed!! - as you also point out, playing online poker has really helped with the mental health, and I concurr, it has helped me too.

So, I've been playing micros and freerolls to try to seed and grow into a bankroll, as I'm loathe to deposit more than around $10 as I'm staying strictly within my means; I don't want problem gaming adding to my list of problems! Iike the free tickets that GG give out each morning, the spin & gold or battle royale games. I was able to spin a Saturday $1 SnG win into $200, on micro cash tables, micro MTT and a couple of GGcare ITM finishes.

So my intention is running some kind of "building a bankroll" from literally nothing blog, maybe a guide. But it seems everyone is doing some sort of bankroll blog these days, so, meh. I dunno, we shall see. I particularly liked your observation that talking through your hands whilst streaming is giving you cause to put more thought into each hand you play!

I'm really into the Bounty tournaments on GG at the moment, or PKO as you called it (I'd never heard that term before I read this thread, weird!) I dunno, I like the idea of winning cash even if you don't place ITM. Placing is hard, but busting a guy who donks his stack into your Aces (for example) is easy.

Originally posted by jiffybag

I do feel stronger in vanilla MTTs than scoop MTTs

What's the difference? The fields are bigger with more players taking shots? Or is it just because its scoop and only happens once a year as compared to a regular mtt that runs everyday or week and you are putting extra pressure on yourself?

The difference is not as subtle as you might think. There is a great YouTube video on exactly this topic that I watched only the other day, but it talks about the difference having a Bounty on your head makes to how the other players act as they try to take you, and thus pocket your Bbounty, down. He runs ranges through a pre-flop solver, with no bounty, x1 bounty, and x3 bounty. It's interesting to see the difference, for example pocket 2's from late position are +EV playable with no bounty, but not with a x3 bounty. Interestingly, whilst the solver suggests you tighten up with a bounty (play 36% vs only 31% with) it says you should loosen up (back to 36%) with a bigger bounty, with a different range, thats skewed heavily toward bigger hands, removing pocket 2s and low connectors and adding all the Kx-off! This makes sense, players will call wide when your bounty is big, so you want to drop hands that will be more easily outgrown, but not be so tight as to loose out on their wider range as your bounty increases.

Another month of poker has ended. I am proud with how I've been this month as a whole and have came out with a profit of $611.
I am certainly not 100% certainly how much a made in total this month, I had that very small period where I was in a really bad state, giving up mid way through the sessions. The great news is, all of that stuff is gone, saying a big thank you to my support worker helped get rid of my emotions and now I am back to grinding the tables hard.

Looking back at my overall performance across the whole month, I would say my turn and river play needs lots of work. I appear to be far too passive on turns and rivers. I am certainly not finding enough probe betting out of position, when in position I seem to have this game where double barrell bets are done like button clicks and every time I've checked back IP, I tend to just give up. one hand I had today might have given my that slap in the face I needed to help push me hard. That has was a CO vs BB spot
I had T9o in CO
BB flats
The flop was K Kh 7h
BB X
CO X

turn 6hhh
BB B 33%
CO call

river 4c
BB X
CO X

I checked back this river as T 9 high and the BB showed up with Qd Jd

why do I not raise turn?
I thought well my range feels capped, he'll have all Kx all flushes lots of 1 card hearts, still even if he does have all those hands one can argue if my opponent is gonna be probing turn with hands he shouldn't be probing aka hands like this Qd Jd then he will have some folds no matter how much value his range has

Why not bluff river
A I thought well my range looks capped and SB might not bet all his KX
Even so if he is gonna probe more than he should from BB then he will have the river folds even if he does X Kx, the point is by being so passive on the turn and checking back air on river, I am making life easy for my opponent to probe wide on turn and then check all his thin showdown value on river. I've seen on numerous occasions, I hate facing aggression, well the truth is aggression will only slowdown if I myself get more aggressive by raising their bets and bluffing on rivers even if my range does look so capped. I was starting to show more aggression towards the end of my last grind in June, funnily enough I was now having a much better understanding of how to play, you could say being aggressive makes me far more away of when I can show massive aggression and when I should be more wary, you could say my opponents will also realize they have to slow down otherwise they are just allowing me to print money as a bluff.

Overall I am still really proud with my game play this month, I have certainly shown strong aggression, the main goal now is to find more aggression without going overboard, in the spots where my range is more capped and/or it has lots of air

I'm not allowed to post external links yet but I would love for others to read my poker diary since my poker begun in 2012.

Type craigcu diary into google and the link for my originally poker diary should pop up their.
NOTE this is only available for those in the UK as it's a UK only site but this help give you great details on the way poker has changed my lifestyle over the years.

Here you go Diary of A Epic Poker Player