It is quite possible that I said something cocky to him ♠_cool:
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Lol, thanks, Waiboy, for the support. It is appreciated. It's funny how it seems that I come back to the blog in a time of crisis - or at least to me it seems that way. It seems that I come back to the blog when I either am playing/running really bad and have to bitch, or really good and have to show off. For awhile I was consistent, but this seems to be a pattern as well.
I have been running horribly, probably the worst I ever have. One of my original ideas for this blog was to use it as a psychological review, the same way i review hands with software. It is time for that now, before I go broke.
One thing I have come to accept is that poker has brought out a frustration in me that I never knew was a part of my personality. I think that I am a complete asshole when I lose. I complain in the chat constantly because I don't know how else to deal with the frustration. Sometimes I can tilt another player, but this isn't worth it. There are better ways to do that.
I don't rip into people or call them morons unless they start in on me, or start getting cocky directly to me. Even then I probably shouldn't. Up to now I always considered it just part of online poker, since there are people like that everywhere.
Normally, I just complain about it being rigged. The software doesn't have feelings that can be hurt and they make money no matter what, so it is a very convenient scapegoat. But this still isn't a way to handle it. Even being more considerate of others' feelings doesn't mean I am not still being a jerk when I complain and that my game doesn't suffer.
But I am getting off track. I have been running worse than ever. I have been reviewing like mad and I just cannot believe the cards I am losing to.
Known players:
[tg]Position_Stack:hands/vp$ip/RaisePreflop/AF/WTS/ORL/BBvsSteal/W$SD;SB$69.00:43/56 /14 /1.3/58 /29 /-/79 ;MP3$312.50:11/55 /0 /0.0/20 /0 /-/0 ;Hero$97.00:///////;[/tg]
2/4 Fixed-Limit Hold'em (5 handed)
Hand recorder used for this poker hand: Elephant 0.69 by www.pokerstrategy.com.
Preflop: Hero is CO with Q♣, T♣
MP3 calls, Hero raises, BU folds, SB calls, BB folds, MP3 calls.
Flop: (7.00 SB) 8♣, 4♦, Q♥ (3 players)
SB checks, MP3 checks, Hero bets, SB calls, MP3 folds.
Turn: (4.50 BB) 9♥ (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, SB calls.
River: (6.50 BB) 4♣ (2 players)
SB bets, Hero calls.
Final Pot: 8.50 BB
Results follow (highlight to see):
Hero shows two pairs, queens and fours (Qc Tc)
SB shows three of a kind, fours (7d 4h)
SB wins with three of a kind, fours (7d 4h)
This is not an extreme example, but the norm. This guy most likely should have folded the flop and definitely the turn. This person was a bad player. There have been many others where it was a player playing a draw correctly and hitting. Nothing unusual about it except they ALWAYS hit their draw.
You have all been on bad beats or bad streaks, so I don't need to go into much more explanation. I just lose and lose and lose again and again and again. My bankroll is at it's lowest it's been in probably over a year (with cashouts of course).
This is my graph since my Nov 4, about the time I started losing relentlessly:
A steady, slow declin. Usually, if there is massive tilt involved, the line drops straight down, but this is different. Tilt may still be involved, bad play is in there, but this is just a steady drop and I can't seem to break out of it.
Sick graph and I'm sorry to hear about your loses. But I'm sure you'll recuperate, you know variance can't beat you forever. 
To make you feel better, here's my graph from first 2/3 of October09:
WOW! That graph looks almost exactly like mine! Thanks for the moral support.
If you come back and read this, how do u keep from getting super pissed? I flip out bad and need to stop.
Well... part of it is cause by not being adjusted to new software (table popups on FTP were killing me), part of it is bad game and part of it just variance: Lost half BR in one month
The solution was firstly to realize that I'm not that good as I thought I were so I reread some silver articles, posted hands in evaluation forum and always try to implement judges' advices to my game. Then on the start of november I caught a nice heater, followed by couple of downers so now I'm trying educate myself more often (still I think I could spend more time on that part, but it's always easier to just open a table and play... 
), feed the fish with nice comments on suckouts and try not to lose my temper while playing. Everything of that is harder than just playing but I came to realize that I have to take that step in non-play part of poker too if want to climb up the limits and be succesful.
Oh, and I try not to be money oriented. That's also hard to do and I'm always happy to see my BR growing, but I also found myself feeling good about some situations which I didn't win, but played them right so in the long term, money also has to come. 
Just a vent post mate.. we all feel your pain. Of course you know that a 300BB drop over 8k hands is pretty standard. It just knocks the confidence to have to wear them.
Stay the course.
Lol, don't worry, I know I'm not that good. It's funny mentioned about going back to the silver articles because that's what I have just started doing and find that it helps. I made the mistake of going to the basic articles (thinking back to basics) but realized that is just scare money tilt.
But my problem is I can't handle a long string of losses. It's not just bad beats, but a combination of things. The confusion of "bad beat or bad play" turns everything sideways.
Was that 4th loss in a row on the river bad luck or am I letting them stay in the hand too long? Then, am I being to aggressive and giving money away? Then, why the hell did that guy with 60 wts learn where the fold button is right when I flop a straight? Why did this all happen in the last 10 minutes?! WHY HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING FOR 3 WEEKS!!!!
As far as not being money oriented, that definitely helps. Even blocking my stack helps a little.
And like Waiboy said, I suppose big swings are normal but wow are they hard to take. It's like saying, "getting a thousand paper cuts in one week is normal."
It seems there is a bit of masochism in playing this game. And I am still losing, but have not quit. My main goal really is to not be such a sore loser. I think Berk's suggestion of complimenting fish is a good one and I will try it. When I want to throw my laptop, I will say "nh." Or at least try to.
Thanks for the suggestions, which are always helpful.
This just happened:
Known players:
[tg]Position_Stack:hands/vp$ip/RaisePreflop/AF/WTS/ORL/BBvsSteal/W$SD;SB$55.00:46/43 /15 /1.2/28 /67 /67 /100 ;Hero$97.00:///////;BU$88.00:70/27 /19 /2.5/19 /31 /100 /67 ;[/tg]
2/4 Fixed-Limit Hold'em (5 handed)
Hand recorder used for this poker hand: Elephant 0.69 by www.pokerstrategy.com.
Preflop: Hero is CO with K♥, A♥
MP3 folds, Hero raises, BU 3-bets, SB calls, BB folds, Hero caps, BU calls, SB calls.
Flop: (13.00 SB) 3♦, K♦, 9♠ (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, BU raises, SB calls, Hero 3-bets, BU calls, SB calls.
Turn: (11.00 BB) 3♣ (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, BU raises, SB folds, Hero calls.
River: (15.00 BB) 3♠ (2 players)
Hero checks, BU bets, Hero raises, BU calls.
Final Pot: 19.00 BB
Results follow (highlight to see):
Hero shows a full-house, threes full of kings (Kh Ah)
BU shows a full-house, threes full of aces (Ac Ad)
BU wins with a full-house, threes full of aces (Ac Ad)
Probably not a good river raise, but this is hands like this have become common and non-stop.
And this:
Known players:
[tg]Position_Stack:hands/vp$ip/RaisePreflop/AF/WTS/ORL/BBvsSteal/W$SD;Hero$122.00:///////;BB$48.00:16/31 /0 /1.0/14 /0 /-/0 ;MP2$68.00:51/41 /8 /1.8/35 /25 /0 /57 ;BU$64.00:57/60 /26 /1.3/28 /44 /0 /80 ;[/tg]
2/4 Fixed-Limit Hold'em (6 handed)
Hand recorder used for this poker hand: Elephant 0.69 by www.pokerstrategy.com.
Preflop: Hero is SB with 7♠, Q♠
MP2 calls, 2 folds, BU calls, Hero calls, BB checks.
Flop: (4.00 SB) 7♦, Q♥, 8♣ (4 players)
Hero bets, BB calls, MP2 folds, BU calls.
Turn: (3.50 BB) 2♥ (3 players)
Hero bets, BB folds, BU calls.
River: (5.50 BB) 4♥ (2 players)
Hero bets, BU raises, Hero calls.
Final Pot: 9.50 BB
Results follow (highlight to see):
Hero shows two pairs, queens and sevens (7s Qs)
BU shows a flush, queen high (Jh 6h)
BU wins with a flush, queen high (Jh 6h)
Known players:
[tg]Position_Stack:hands/vp$ip/RaisePreflop/AF/WTS/ORL/BBvsSteal/W$SD;SB$102.50:997/31 /23 /1.8/42 /38 /44 /62 ;Hero$75.50:///////;BU$76.50:189/56 /34 /1.0/33 /51 /33 /47 ;[/tg]
2/4 Fixed-Limit Hold'em (6 handed)
Hand recorder used for this poker hand: Elephant 0.69 by www.pokerstrategy.com.
Preflop: Hero is MP3 with K♠, K♣
MP2 folds, Hero raises, CO folds, BU calls, SB calls, BB folds.
Flop: (7.00 SB) 7♠, 3♥, J♥ (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, BU folds, SB raises, Hero calls.
Turn: (5.50 BB) 2♣ (2 players)
SB bets, Hero raises, SB calls.
River: (9.50 BB) 7♣ (2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, SB raises, Hero calls.
Final Pot: 13.50 BB
Results follow (highlight to see):
Hero shows two pairs, kings and sevens (Ks Kc)
SB shows three of a kind, sevens (6h 7h)
SB wins with three of a kind, sevens (6h 7h)
Hand one: AK v AA when a K flops? Find your AA v KK/QQ/JJ hands where the K/Q/J flops, or better still the AA v AK hands where the flop is KKx.. these hurt waaaaay more. Besides, his range is so strong, your river raise is, as you note, definitely in the seriously optimistic category!
Hand two: Raggy back door draw from a flop peeling monkey boy.. c'mon he had BOTH the standard back door draws, not to mention the backdoor two pair and trips draws... you were 30:70 dog on the flop at best!!! 
Hand three: He has approx 1.5 million outs on the flop v top pair / overpair. How do you play 76s in this situation? The pre-flop SB call is a minor error at worst, and he hits one of his outs. NH WP.
None of this is news to you. Maybe it's time to hit the mental reset button dude... possibly an opportunity for a break?
Well, I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but as far as those other hands you mention hurting more is really a matter of perspective and beside the point. The point is not that there are suckouts in poker, the point is the alarming frequency of in which these suckouts are happening to the point where they have become the norm for an alarming period of time. Comparing AK v AA or AA v KK/QQ/JJ etc is really just splitting hairs.
And as far as hand 2, this is where I'm not sure about the sarcasm. Both backdoor draws are the only things he had with a hand he had no business being playing in the first place. I'm not sure where you get 30:70 dog with 2 pair, but he had a 9% chance of beating my hand. Getting 6:1 odds, he doesn't even have enough implied odds that factor a possible river cap to make that call with these 3 outs. On a missed flop, every hand with 2 different hole cards has backdoor two pair and trips.
But whether or not a hand is played well is also beside the point. Yes, the guy in hand 3 played standard and hit one of his outs. The point here is not to say "bad beat", but that they hit there outs like 90% of the time. They always hit, whether it's garbage in hand 2, or standard in hand 3.
Aside from the iffy river raise, I'm pretty sure these hands were standard play on my part as well. The point is, no matter what, the opponent hits their hand regardless of how much of a long shot it is, which is hard to convey with only 3 hands posted. I only posted these because they happened within a short period of time of each other and my most recent posting.
Yes, I know that is poker, mathematics can prove a much worse, and downswings happen to everyone. I am posting my thoughts and events to express the combination of frustration and amazement at how bad it can actually be. Also, it is difficult to decipher between bad play and bad luck when having to sift through thousands of losing hands.
Fair enough dude.
It's just when you post hands that you know are standard as an example that you're being victimised by variance, well, I figure tilt. So it was a not obviously sarcastic enough attempt to get you to re-engage your perspective meter and get of the tilt pony, cause it seems to me you need to hear it.
Apologies if this wasn't the case and good luck.
*EDIT* Sorry if I ticked you off, only had good intentions at heart.
Hi,
Nice to read your blog...
Could u tell me how many tables you play in same time?
Have you ever tried multi multi tabling (6-9) in 0.5-1 dolars (sh fl)tables ?
I have different strategy i just move to shorthand but can not play like more than 6-7 tables right now?
my bankroll is 2940 dolars and i think i have 27000 fpp but i am waiting for to be a platinium star (1000 left) and 50.000 then enjoy 650 dolar bonus....
When you move up limits people are hard to beat. why don't u stay in low limit and enjoy money?
What about table selection on sh fx limit? Considering me, i am always looking for %60 or above usually very fishy...
I moved to shorthand 2 months ago.... I was enjoying 0.25-0.50 fr fl above 14 tables..... Shorthand is swingy....
@Waiboy: No, I wasn't ticked off. I am in a state of frustration and am currently analyzing the hell out of everything. And while it is always good to do this to improve, you can get lost in a lot of stuff.
Plus, the losing streak is still going. The reason for the standard hand posting is to show that as of now standard hands are a standard loss, along with bad beats, and some bad play. Those three hands encompassed these aspects in a short period of time.
It's kind of like having an open wound that keeps getting re-opened. When someone comes along and says, "here's an ointment, this should help it heal," it still stings when it is applied to the wound. You yell "damn it!", even though it is helping.
Also, being that my confidence is currently shot to hell, I needed some clarification on some things and was putting my 2 cents in in the process.
@emotv: I currently only play 2 tables at a time, but have played as many as 4.
I have thought about moving down, but I like to follow BRM outlined in the neararticles. But when I move down, as I might have to do, those suggestions fall in line with what I will most likely have to try.
As far as table selection, I try to scout for known fish. Unknowns have a high likelihood of being fish as well at 2/4 still. I look for tables that have an average pot of 10x the big blind and/or 40% players at flop.
And I understand that FL SH is swingy, but this is a little beyond swing. If I don't go broke, I will have a good size sample of hands to use for heavy statistical analysis for a long time beyond any recovery.
This is a steady, yet painfully mysterious decline on a stake where I have been a +2BB/100 player for roughly 50,000 hands.
Def agree with Waiboy here, you need to take a break badly, say a week or two and I'm sure you'll be playing a lot better when you come back.
Some of these are so standard it's painful and you can't really expect to be making money if people don't call the flop with backdoor OESD+FD+ live cards sometimes.
That AK hand imo was a pretty bad raise, the 3 is a really bad card for you and every K just sucked out, not too sure what you're getting value out of any more and you'll be burning 1-2 bets really often with it and hardly ever making bets out of it.
A 50k sample is not really that big as well so Imo keep at it man.
. . . ok I probably do need a mental break because it seems that, not only that nothing is working at the tables, but it seems that I am not conveying it very effectively. Unfortunately, taking a break for any period longer than 1-2 days is out of the question.
Well, after a glimpse back through the recent posts, I realized that it sounds like the edge of madness. The replies seemed to be hinting at this. Hopefully, anyone who has had a tough time with their game can read through it and get a true sense of what it is like to lose continuously, beyond the basic statements about variance, "it happens", etc. While these statements are true, it is hard to grasp until it happens.
Anyway, being that a break is out of the question, what can be done? If anyone doesn't know, Waiboy has put together a thread containing all the FL Quizzes by PS.com:
It is a valuable thread that Waiboy has been continuously updating for months and has earned its rightful sticky. I had forgotten about these and am planning on extensively applying these, along with the corresponding articles, to my review sessions.
I have recently found that, in multiway pots, I lose more BB/100 hands when I check/call the flop than when I check/fold. This should be basic stuff. If there are legitimate reasons for this, please let me know because I can't think of any. I also don't know if the mistakes are actually on the flop, turn, or river. So I figured I would begin with the Fixed Limit: Silver Graduation Exam:
http://www.pokerstrategy.com/quiz/weekly/445
. . . check out the Bronze Exam . . .
http://www.pokerstrategy.com/quiz/weekly/93
. . . and go from there.
Thanks for any feedback. Back to basics.
Bronze:
You managed to score 18 out of a total of 18 possible points. This corresponds to 100 %!
Whew!