Harrier's Covidyssey
I know I tend to write some TL;DR posts at times, but this story has everything: A sleep-deprived squirrel, an epic battle against bureaucracy, takeout pasta - and maybe even a positive ending? Read on to find out...
It all started on Wednesday morning when I arrived at work and everyone had to take their weekly Covid tests, those rapid tests where you have to poke around your nostrils. It just so happened that one of our new forklift drivers tested positive at home that day, and he had been working with us the previous two days, so our supervisor was extra careful. I didn't sleep a lot the nights before and was super tired. I kept closely eyeing my test, wondering if that little shade in the middle could be my ticket straight back to bed, but then decided that wishing won't make it so and got going.
As I was waiting near the gate to pick up some pallets, I then heard my supervisor shout out my name. She said that I might be Covid-positive based on my test, so I need to get back in there, take another test to make sure, and then put on a mask and stay put until we know what's up. I took another glance at the test I took before, and found that it looked just like it did when I last gazed at it: Just a little shade there, most likely because I got a little liberal with the liquid again - the excess stuff must have stopped where the line for the positive result was supposed to be. My re-test was negative, so it was decided to let me work - with my mask on - and take another test the following day.
On Thursday, we decided to skip the test anyway when I pointed out that I was feeling fine. Then Friday morning came, and I just felt like death getting out of bed...
I was so tired that I knocked over my double shot of espresso on my kitchen table - which was right next to my precious laptop, which luckily only got a small bit on the casing before I pulled it away. Some manuals on the table were ruined, though, and of course I had some cleaning up to do while still half asleep. In that state, work was no picnic, but I tried to pull through, until I took my second bathroom trip at work (eating that slightly expired microwave food I found in a back corner of my fridge the evening before may not have been such a good idea). I felt so tired and groggy that I thought I should maybe take another test after all, if we have some left.
I took one and got back to work when it came back negative, feeling slightly foolish for even taking one, just because I was feeling exhausted and had some nasty bathroom trips. Then my supervisor came back to me again, sending me to the nearest testing center, because there was another "almost visible" shady line that was open to interpretation. I had another look and didn't think much of it, but a co-worker who had Covid himself a few weeks ago agreed, saying that it looked just like his roommate's test when he started coming down with it. So I put the address into my GPS and took the 7 minute drive to that center, it was just about break time anyway.
Arriving there, the lady at the counter said that they can't help me, I would have to drive to my home town (about 15 minutes away) to take a proper PCR test. Appointments there are usually made online, but of course I don't own a smartphone, and the ladies at the center couldn't help with the appointment either. I suggested calling the center there, but they said that also wouldn't help getting an appointment, it needs to follow that online process. I decided to drive those 7 minutes back to work to tell them the news instead of just calling, figuring that they could help me make an appointment online on their PCs.
Their opinion was that I don't need that PCR test at all - just take another one of those rapid tests there, they should have some more accurate ones. So it's back to that center, another 7 minutes, and now well past the break already. I told them I'm back, and after waiting for another test taker in front of me, I was told that they can not let me take a rapid test if there is a suspicion of me being positive, PCR tests are the only option now, and they are not available there. I pointed out that it is not confirmed at all yet that I'm positive, but they insisted that every tiny visible bit means that the test reacted, and I should therefore be treated as Covid-positive when in doubt.
All right, I called at work. All we need is another rapid test to make sure I'm fine, but if that center refuses to let me take one, I need to find another one. After some poking around, I was sent to some makeshift testing center at a supermarket in a nearby town, about a 10 minute drive away. I finally got there, and made sure not to mention that I took a test before with a suspicion of it being positive, just saying that I needed a quick test for work. No problem - I just need to scan that QR-code on the wall to register. I pointed out that I don't own a smartphone or any other scanning device. Bummer, because their system had been overhauled the other day and QR-codes are now the only way to get access to a test there... 
It was getting really ridiculous, but I called at work again. After having exhausted just about every test center in the vicinity, we decided that I might as well drive back to my home town (now about a 25 minute drive from where I was) to take that PCR test. We had wasted so much time on all of this that it was hardly worth it to drive all the way back to work in case of a negative result, so we agreed that I can take the rest of the day off either way and this test was only to determine whether I can return next Monday.
I got there, filled out a quick form to get a test without any appointments, and had to take one of those rapid tests to see whether or not the PCR test is required in my case. I waited outside for the result, and one of the ladies at the center came back outside to me within a few minutes. I was definitely Covid-positive, so we might as well get started with the PCR test already. All right, fine, looks like a week off for me. I asked if I could see my test, just to compare it to how it looked compared to the one I took at work, and I was told that it was already discarded. "Wait, what was your name again?" the other lady then asked. "Oh, no, that wasn't your test, yours isn't ready yet, terribly sorry about that, please wait outside again"... 
So I waited outside again for about half an hour, because plenty of other people arrived in the meantime, and I was finally approached with my results: The test was negative - this whole Covidyssey was for naught... ♠_ugly: ♠_ugly: ♠_ugly:

I came all this way for THIS? Well, not quite, because I decided that I might as well pick up some takeout pasta nearby now that I'm at it. As it was Fishy Friday, I got some spaghetti di mare:

I would have said that this was a positive outcome after all... but honestly, those spaghetti were a bit disappointing. I think I'll have some tagliatelle with salmon next time.
But guess what? There actually were some Covid-positive people around my final test center, including that one person whose test originally got mixed up with mine. Wouldn't it be the peak of irony if I got infected over there now? Maybe there will be an even crazier sequel then...
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