Hey guys,
I've always loved playing poker, but recently, and been going on for awhile, I've built a whole world around my pokerplaying since I eventually(sooner rather than later obviously) want to become proffessional at it and do it for a living. This has brought me the dilemma of poker actually feeling like a chore, not something I choose to do because I like it as much as something I feel I have to do - which is retarded, since I love the game.
I've had to restrain both my game and my life in order to become what I must to succeed in poker, for example; I quit sugar(which btw was huge for me), started working out, put caps on time / session(to get proper breaks), started doing braingames before playing etc. I've got a whiteboard on the wall with different things I want from poker, what I need to do, where I want to live when I go pro etc. I'm really deep into planning this as a lifestyle, and this is where my motivation fails. Recently I've put in more volume then ever before coupled with hitting my worst downswing ever(which for the time being is over, so that isnt the problem) has kinda brought me to a stalemate. I long to play poker because I don't want to work like I do today, modern day slavery and whatnot, not because I love playing.
This post is alittle blurry, but I hope some of you have gone through thesame. I know I love the game because that's what I felt when I first started, that's what built the idea and that's whats kept me going to this point.
Anybody have any ideas? A break isn't really an option either since I havent played much at all so far this month - should be mentioned that I feel kinda shitty when I don't put volume in, because I know I have to if I'm going to become what I want.