Meh the sunday was soooooooooo bad, just couldnt win any flips and everyone who wasnt lazy could easily crush me withut any effort
it kinda sucks, that after winning those ~900 euros now i can't win anything big but that's how mtt's works.
Anyway, i took yesterday and going to take today off cause need to write a business plan for twitch, youtube and my small project and it turned out that i will have to save up 279$ for youtube and some $$$ for twitch but at least its not going to be very expensive to start making videos and do stream, so starting from tomorrow i will try to stream and "flatten" my green screen for youtube, so that finally i can start doing what i always wanted:
Sunday:

Also got depressed yestreday cause i feel that my life isnt going anywhere so i started to watch/read some depressing stuff about life/death and how people are regretting a lot of stuff they didnt do in their life before they died and it make me thing, when was the last time i really felt happy. And to be honest i only were happy only few times in life and i could count those days on one hand... kinda sad i know
There was a saying that if you could have a day so damn good and would get to a point that you would tell yourself that that's it i'm ready to die, like literally. It may sound weird cause my english isnt my mother language but i hope someone will understand what i meant by it. Im not talking about suicide but more about the life and being at the edge of happiness that you wouldn't be afraid to die right now. Meh now, when i read through it it may sound like im suicidal, haha if someone can help, please rephrase my saying and make it to sound more logical 
Anyway, yesterday i spending some time doing my business plan and started to think about my life, past and future and realized that my life sucks, to be frank. That my life right now is boring and i'm not living to my fullest potential and i know that i could much more in my life but somehow im afraid of success or to be more precise, i'm afraid to leave my old life behind and become "me". I started to read one interesting book about achieving your dreams and find the path of happiness, even if there are hundreds and hundreds of books that writes this about this stuff, this book in general is quite different cause it doesnt tell you how to do it but more to be guide to help you achieve your happiness your culmination by yourself but in a very cute and friendly way. The book is called "Serendipity's Secret". The cover itself looks very childish but the story itself is presented into such a cute and warm way that it really very to pick up and start your change in life. So starting from today i will write down some interesting quotes from this book and also some personal stuff about my life and i will try to be the person that i want to be, so i really will do my best to write down how it will go, and hope it will also help someone who's reading this blog. cheers