Originally posted by bradomurder
Should I have left the table 2 hands earlier?
obviously
i don't think i play differently, but this is the absolute bottom of the hands that we consider raising on the flop.
turn sucks ass, maybe you can find a fold if you are feeling "inspired", you can always hope to see some AQ kinda hand...
Yeah it's the worst turn card in that it's not the worst turn card, you know. A spade and I can just fold.
I think it's OK, although it is definitely close.
There are many worse mistakes I made that session for sure.
Update time, I've finally had time to go back through my hand history and add up all the hours I've played. Need to stay on top of that.
Had a decent upswing. Yay.
Weeks 14 - 20
Hours: 25.65
Profit: $1878
Roll: $8723
Goal: $50,000
Working full time is so time consuming. Barely have time to write a blog these days.
Will post some hands when I get a chance though.
Peace,
Brad
Good luck continuing your challenge your doing really well and yes i can imagine it being hard fitting everything in as well as a full time job. Good luck mate keep it up...:f_drink: 
Thanks,
It's getting better now that we've settled in. Changing countries definitely didn't help.:f_drink:
I wrote a poem:
Losing
I'm losing.
I'm losing and losing and losing.
Don't know how many buy-ins I'm down.
Must be a lot.
Don't know if I playing well.
Probably not.
Wondering if I should quit.
Should I quot?
Too hard to quot when I'm down
Is it not?
I'm going to plant some veggies now.
Can't afford to shop.
The End.
So that's my current state of mind and update on progress. If anyone wants to lay it over a blues riff, you have the rights.
Peace
P.S. Don't worry I actually can afford veggies
In all seriousness. I have some confessions.
I haven't really kept on top of logging hours, reviewing hands or learning strategy. When I sit down I feel like I'm destined to lose. I am losing the ability to tell whether I'm playing well or not and the confidence in my game has disappeared.
I have stopped using my list of things to work on, reminders for the session and learning goals, that was an integral part of me becoming a good winning player.
I've stopped doing my warm up and cool down.
I haven't been table selecting and have been playing Omaha and crazy pineapple, games I don't have much experience in, and justifying it to myself be saying that the other players are fish.
My note taking has been weak. I have a lot of players tagged as fish/weak regs, mostly because I want to justify the table as being "worth playing" to myself, because traffic has been low. In reality I need to update these notes because a lot of these players are at least as good as me.
I've been subconsciously blaming all my losses on runbad, despite all of the obvious flaws in my game on and off the table.
All this being said, unless poker is actually my job, I don't know if I have the energy to become good enough at it to really bother. I wonder if I am kind of self-sabotaging just to get it over and done with.
This has become a bit of a ramble. If you got this far, thanks for reading. Any advice appreciated.
Originally posted by Talisker74
Well i write from my handy
I don't really understand what you mean by that, but I'll send you a request.
Hope you can turn the text into an awesome song with yr punkband. The first step to turn things around is to accept that something is wrong. You have made the diagnose, know it’s time to take the medicine and do all the things you haven’t been doing. Hope things turn around soon and that yr mindset improves soon. GL
Sorry to hear that Brad.
It is good that you acknowledge that your mindset and your play are not good at the moment.
Think at the times when it DID go well.
What were you thinking then, what tables did you play etc?
To regain confidence go back to 1 or 2 stakes lower.
And remember your goal, maybe redefine your goal.
Good luck Brad.
Think like me at your beautiful house that is waiting for you 
Thanks guys.
I think redefining my goal is the best idea. Since I got this job, the original goal is just gonna make my life shit. (And it's unrealistic anyway)
I might take a few days off to think about it, what do I actually enjoy about poker, how do I like to study, what games are really enjoyable for me and how much do I want to play every week. Then I can set a more realistic target around that.
I do still enjoy poker, just not the grinding life.
On a more positive note, I won Barry Carter's new satellite book and it arrived the other day. It looks good so far and coincidentally the WPT is coming to my town... I could be tempted to get into some of the satellites for that.
