Sexy Polish Millionaire. Baller Japan / Getting Ripped / Crush Poker

What a way to end the year! Last year at new year Eve we felt asleep earlier I got woked up by fireworks and since we didn't go anywhere or did anything I started work and it was magic. I've made like 2.5-3k Euro in a single 6h session. The traffic was terrific, this year traffic was also terrific, those were also big games with big earnings so I doubled the last year day, however I also reversed it. Which is less cool. I was very active at holidays and we had great holidays and I said I want New Year's Eve free so I can work, and I did. I woke up around 22:40, fucked around like hour on tablet (was kinda sleepy after 3-3.5h of sleep) and wake up to do the job.
First coffee split on my white long sleeve - "ah it doesn't matter, it's gotta be good day" I sat down and it was like my first hand, at least first I remember.
Than at next big pot my PC restarted. It ended up that the server I've build made my PC vulnerable for some reasons I wasn't able to figure out, yet. I've lost some big pots that wasn't tracked because of memory error. I told myself "it doesn't matter, it's gotta be good day" I removed half of it memory, just in case and started grinding again, when I came back:

I assume I did lose like 6k euro overall but it's always tricky with mind. It make your loses bigger, your impact bigger and variance smaller. Anyway it hurted like hell during the session. I was amazed by my performance. By me being disciplined to quit once table became not as good, by ability of opening nl50 for the first time in like 3 years to cut losses short and win some money back. I was playing very good session. I was keep telling myself, even if you do not feel like you play bad, treat spots like you play bad, since variance doing a shitstorm take umbrealla and assume that people aren't as aggressive at it appears because they just have it all the time. I checked some more hands and I saw yesterday:

And yeah some of those hands are debatable. There is no iffs about it. The thing with big pots and close spots is, they are always debatable. You do not gain big edges on it. I could quit from those spots I agree, it could be smarter way of approaching or it could be worse because people tendencies were way off. Like x/r Flop 40% of time or 3beting 30% over large sample, over many players, it seemed they were drunk (daaa) then close spots becomes better as aggressive calls or thin bets.

I also see some mistakes and tilts. I was pathentic with those cbets at some point and was did cbet wrong part of my range against agro strategy I should xb and I see lack of balls to Jam A9 hand that is super standard, it just seemed as yeah well I am gonna jam and lose again gg. This spot was slam Jam.

So I checked other room, seems similar:

Won't spam those spots anymore. Those are big, some arguable hands, non of which super weird seeing super aggressive tendencies of players, over big sample. I did made some amazing folds. The things I didn't saw are won pots. There weren't many of them. It could be as wrong as I've thought but I guess I exaggerate it to feel better. Anyway I still believe in "it doesn't matter, it's gotta be good day" I just have to learn some lessons from it. I just have to find a way to thrive. Since I've paid very expensive fee for those lessons I have to do everything in my power for them to be good. Since I want to go into deep stuff about my life that I do not want to filter to change my thought process I am gonna stop here and wish you amazing new year, and I am gonna end with two quotes I like:

It's been comming for some time Kinda happy about it. We're gonna drink some wine, eat some chesse, chill a bit. Hopefully we won't be blown up in the process.

Good Day, good life:

Quite nice session today. Was going to write earlier about Paris trip this day motivated me to do it earlier. Long story short: Pairs is amazing.
I was disappointed earlier with few places I've been that people are saying are so great, so was really shocked about Paris.
Food is great, people are friendly and you can easily speak with them in English (even though I've heard over and over again that they don't like speaking english it didn't happen even once, at least not to me). It's price but for everything you buy have very good quality.
It's definitely place to spend more time than few days. You have amazing architecture, great places to taste food, visit etc.
I've been to Luvre it was okeish yet the Art Musem in NYC is imo way, way better organized. You have a feeling that you want to stay in Art Museum longer and longer, and you want to come back there, on the other hand Luvre quickly overwhelm you. And they put very similar stuff, you have plenty of steps unless you are very enthusiastic about stuff there you will be overwhelmed quite fast.
I was very thrilled about Moulin Rogue theatre. I had front row sits, bottle of champagne, they even put me at the table with guys who have like 80 years and 30 years wifes (with 20 years children... : D ) Anyway the show was very nice and imo it's worth sitting at front row because I imagine it's hard to see anything but boobs from a far, while siting in front row you see what they have under their dresses and outfits. I really did enjoy it, some stuff was really entertaining like a chick that was dancing with some kind of water snakes. It was a very short glass wall and snakes were jumping a bit so you were afraid that they will jump of a water at your table, when we add being drunk it becomes quite nice combo.
What was also "exciting" is when I was going back to the hotel in the night, drunk and alone I saw like 10 different groups of big black guys (like 5ppl+ in each group) looking at me when I was walking there looking like easy money (there is dress code at Moulin Rogue so you have to dress like easy money to those homiess). Have plenty of photos (unfortunately they didn't allowed doing photos to dancers) so once I put them on PC can upload some on my blog.

Have a good evening and crush at the tables
Cheers

„And what guarantee do you have of a longer life? Who will allow your course to proceed as you arrange it? Aren’t you ashamed to keep for yourself just the remnants of your life, and to devote to wisdom only that time which cannot be spent on any business? How late it is to begin really live just when life must end! How stupid to forget our mortality, and put off sensible plans to our fifties and sixtieth years, aiming to begin life from a point at which few have arrived!”
Seneca Younger

It’s a powerful part that really hit me. I’ve read his book 4-5 times now and somehow this part passed me. I love to go back to philosophy when traveling. Traveling brings you perspective on itself. You see different life, different paradigms, different way of live, of course as long as you don’t travel hermetically. People do their best to standardize everything, with money you can have very similar experience in most countries. You can be somewhere, without interacting with place, have you really left your home then?

Saying that it’s not a point that I am writing about. I feel that that traveling with philosophy is traveling on steroids. Your brain is just bombed and contradict what you are doing, why are you doing it and how are you doing it. Seneca thought hit me like a hammer because I wasn’t alive for last 4-5 months. I realized it, when I was walking down in Geneva, hangover after France, tiered and under slept after 5h of sleep 3 days in a row, cold, hungry and a bit wet. We were going to Geneva “Greenwich Village” called Carouge. We were going to eat there after nice, long walk with cold air and wind. We were there at 14:20. Why does it matter? Because restaurants there are open 12:00-14:00, then open again at 19:00. In the meantime, you can get drunk, you can not eat. Somewhere close to that time I got rekted by Swiss phone charges, 40 USD gone from my card, I am not able to call or use internet. Way to go Switzerland!!!

While going back to the city center, feeling blue and cold, I’ve realized I am alive. Seneca words came back to my mind and I was pondering about them. I’ve realized how much inner power we have, and how much time we spend on being distracted rather than feel alive. I am going to go back to reflecting on my life a bit more. I even lost daily meditation habit some time ago, after almost 2 years (again ALMOST – fuck that word, who cares that 3 weeks left, it’s still 1 year of meditation) I stopped doing it for like a month now. Blogging also always helped me go back on track. I’ve been through some shit in the past, but what was happening for last 2 years is a lot, especially last 4-5 months the project I was working on put us under tons of pressure, frustration and challenging times. It’s the first time in my entire life I feel a need for a clean slate. We are moving to Mexico for a while, one-way ticket, another continent might help leaving it all behind. Forget, forgive, move on. I am posting my graph from before that project, just because it’s nice for eye:

“You act like mortals in all you fear, and like immortals in all you desire.”
Last two years, were really, really rough. It was a lot of stuff that psychologist call either improvement crisis or life crisis. In just two years I:
Became a father
Became a husband
We’ve bought apartment, planned and prepared everything ourselves.
I almost die, I was on bicycle when car hit me, crushed it window.
Change a profession I was lucky to get to know people with very good contacts, for life and online games so I needed to learn 6 and 9max
I was asked for favor and helped with startup, worked 50h+ weekly for few months what decreased my earnings by a lot I am saying earning 20-30% of what I was earning on average month.
Business investments didn’t work out. (Even after knowing outcome I am still fine with the odds)
One other stressful personal situation that I don’t want to share.
Was ill 7 times in that period (Beside last two years I was ill 2 times last 9 years…)

Some are bigger changes / stressors, some are smaller. Each of them can be dealt with on their own but when they spam together in very short period and most of them happened in one year it becomes challenging. You have literally no way to deal with it in a healthy manner, you fight for survive. The fight didn’t go well, I went from 94kg to 107kg (the fattest I ever were was around 98kg, never above 100kg), lost habit of meditating daily. The worst part is some kid of snowball effects, you lose one good habit, after another, after another. Than you have fight to get them all back.

Three weeks ago I twisted my ankle, what doesn’t help if you want to lose some fat. Doctor said it will take a week to walk without bandage, I made it in three days. I am determinate to go after it. I am at 103.2kg, not great but going into right direction, because I twisted my ankle, I added ankle exercise to my gym to make it STRONGER than before contusion, will take some time but well. I have to rebound. That’s what I am gonna do with every single thing that suffered. I am grinding only nl100 now because I had a few months break and I have to go back into flow and remind myself how to play well but 2 fish at the table help. I also went back to meditating, which is also very cool.

I am super grateful for support of close people, especially over that time period and I am super grateful that we are not a couple who BS ourselves about problems with having a kid and we went to Mexico with 13 months child and didn’t use it for excuse to stay at home and watch tv. Lately philosophy really helps me deal with it. The other thing I am pondering is Charles Dickens: “Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching…. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.” Anyway enough of this, here are some photos from Mexico:

The last one was funny. I was swimming in the cenote, even though I don't know how to swim. I just couldn’t resist of swimming with fish, in nice clear water, with waterfall. It made me feel primarily but in a very nice, restful way (aside from fact that adrenalin was pumping through my blood because I was afraid that I’ll drown….. ♦)

Nice pictures!

Congratulations on your marriage and on become a father.
Greatest experience of my life was watching the birth of my daughter -- but there were greater ones yet to come.

I sure hope your ankle heals!

I hope all goes well in 2020,
VS

Thanks! Yes it's definetely something that change your perception a lot and is very rewarding, it goes without mentioning that it's also super demanding