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+++Q&A with Jared Tendler!!+++

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hi
great thread.
read the book and have a few questions i hope you can help with

1) i wish to hate making mistakes without getting angry about the mistakes i make but can't see how this is possible.

2) earlier your co author commented on # tables. can you expand on this? e.g. i play between 6 and 9. with less i can focus on each more, but tend to get bored. with 9 i don't get bored and focus for longer but sometimes this can lead to bad decisions with too many decisions to be had at once. should i be focussing on playing less and increasing focus? this also concerns me such that i won't be able to play more tables in future

3) how do you go about breaking down accumulated tilt. i have loads of mental hand histories and as advised am only working on 3/4 maximum at any one time. also taking time with each of them so that i'm ensuring they are learned to the level of unconscious competence. however, this takes time and many accumulated emotion issues remain. any advice would be appreciated.


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Originally posted by JaredTendler

Here's my advice:

1) Write the flawed logic that comes to mind (only made like a measly €48. What a waste - for example) & all the specific situations where it tends to show up.
2) Write out why it makes sense that you would think that way.
3) Write out clearly why that logic is flawed
4) Write out very clearly the logic that you know to be true.
5) Write out why that logic is the correct, correction to the flawed logic.

This is called a Mental Hand History in the the book. It's designed to break down mental game mistakes in a clearly logical order. Just knowing that logic is flawed isn't enough - you need to know why you even think that way - and why that reasoning is flawed. If you can imagine - these extra steps are like the roots to the problem. Just addressing it on the surface doesn't get deep enough to pull the problem out by it's roots, so it doesn't grow back.

Once you've gone through these 5 steps. Study it like you would any poker concept. Then, each time you play review beforehand, work your ass off you correct your reactions while playing and afterward where relevant. Lastly, add new details as you find them.

Make sense?

Now this is one of the best stuff I have seen at this forum.Simple and easy to do.


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Steinpilz0104
Joined: 10.03.2010

Hi Jared

I've a general question about how to manage the what I call "curiosity syndrom".

My curiosity syndrom ist the fact that I know I'm beaten, however often I call, just to see that I was beaten.... This conducts to my what you call Mistake-Tilt...

How can I work on me to avoid to make a bad call, this ist the primary question, and it's not really a poker but a psychologic problem.

I think a reason I make also this calls ist the fear, that villain could bluff me, as it has happen some few times...

Thank you for your answer & regards from Switzerland


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Sorry if this isn't a big question but it is bothering me...

The last thing on the list in the book, I think it is page 10, says...

Say "one time"

I have no idea what this means!

Please explain!

?( :)


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Dendra
Joined: 28.01.2009

Hello Jared, I have a question regarding your classification of tilts and its causes.

You don't seem to include overly positive feelings as a source of tilting and I feel like you are missing one piece of the puzzle here. To my current knowledge, you define tilt as "anger+bad play" and claim that a winning tilt is actually being overconfident - which you put into a different category.

I haven't read your book so I can't say for sure if this is true and I also can't say if you didn't cover what I'm about to say, but given the list of your tilts, I'll make a safe guess that you didn't.

When people talk about tilts, they generally think about losing big pots and other negative causes for tilting. However, winning big pots and being overwhelmed by other positive feelings can cause a deviation from your standard play just as well.

I'm not even talking about overconfidence here - I'm talking about the fear of losing your recent winnings. The source of tilt is not the fear, it is the ecstatic feeling of winning something extraordinary, unexpected, etc.

In some cases fear is a too strong word, as we primarily feel very happy and don't want to lose that feeling.

This pretty much puts people into two categories, those who tighten up their game and wish to avoid losses after a big win and those who are encouraged by big wins to go for more (overconfidence or call it what you like - I say it's greed more often than not).

Either way you are deviating from your optimal play and therefore you are tilting. I am unsure why does only negative deviation from standard play count as tilt whereas a "positive" deviation does not?

Maybe it just comes down to defining tilt and in that aspect I feel it's wrong to separate negative and positive reasons as if they are completely different topics - they in fact fall under the same category.

It would be the same to say hatred is an emotion and love is not.

On that note - you say revenge is a form of tilt, how about compassion then? It just occurred to me that in odd scenarios, a player could practically donate his money to an opponent due to feeling pity for him - indeed a rare case, especially in poker, but it is still a plausible one.

Anyway, I'd be interested to hear your reasons for separating positive emotions from causes of tilts and if you indeed did overlook it, what do you think about the emotional changes when a player is on a winning tilt (overconfidence excluded since you mentioned that).


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Head Admin
BarryCarter
Joined: 13.01.2011

Originally posted by hackbinder
Sorry if this isn't a big question but it is bothering me...

The last thing on the list in the book, I think it is page 10, says...

Say "one time"

I have no idea what this means!

Please explain!

?( :)

We just included that as a funny example of how people wrongly think they can control variance. You see people all the time screaming 'one time' when they are all-in, ie:


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Thanks!!!

Makes sense now...


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Hi,
i've been following this thread, just have to say thanks for your effort!

i've currently got 2 main problems with my play:
1) motivation - very often i look forward to playing poker but after i start my session, i just watch how many hands i've played all the time (in my hud stats at the table) and if i haven't played many yet, i feel demotivated for some reason and i simply look at that number of hands more and more often until i finish the session. i think about time a lot, i don't know how to explain it well... simply i think that if i was able to somehow forget about time&how many hands i've played and concetrate fully on poker, i would be able to play much more. i mean i really like poker as a game, the decisions it brings and so on, but i am not able to play longer sessions and don't really enjoy playing it.

2) i play 4-6 tables, mostly 6. i feel like i have got enough time for decision-making, but when i review some crucial spots after the session, i find out that i usually make at least 2-3 big mistakes in big pots per ~500 hands. i don't think it's a matter of time (could be hovewer), but i just always somehow misread the situation and i'm not able to make the best decision i can, so i'm not using my full technical potential (it's not that great, but still :) ). i feel if i was able to get rid of these costly mistakes, my wr would increase a lot...

thanks for the reply :)


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nosnbaer22
Joined: 02.03.2009

this thread is awesome, i ordered your book after reading the first site since i knew the mental aspect has a huge effect on the winrate and u seem to be pretty competent. i just were to lazy to start with getting deeper into mental aspects and your post gave me the tap i needed to start.
your articles are very good aswell.
i'm really looking forward to eat your book:D

very nice job sir

i would like to know how u run down your private coaching?
since it's a decent amount of money per hour i'm asking me how to get the most out of your coaching. but anyhow i gotta read the book first.

vote for best thread @ ps

edit: a short hint for players who can't keep playing when they are up a big amount:

take your db, filter all hands check your hourly and compare it with your sessions. helped me a lot since i knew it isn't possible to make such astronomic hourlys. and if u lose some buyins and got an hourly which is around your overall hourly, just sit back and say: everything went normal.


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TheLastNail
Joined: 30.05.2008

ok, i just read 2 pages of this thread and ordered ur book thru ur page. For some reason i couldnt order from Amazon.de, hope from ur page it will be delivered. (i am from Slovakia)

thx for putting so much effort into this. U seem like a great person and a very valuable teacher, hope ur book can give me insight to master my mind further.

edit: (came back w a few questions):

1, i have psychological problems playing vs ppl i know personally better. The higher the level, obv everyone will play eachother, its almost unavoidable. Now my frame of psychological "guilt" is this: i dont want to start playing the table, my friend already plays, since it might look like i am coming to take advantage of me knowing him and destroy his table dynamics. I dont feel quite the same subconsious block when the friend sits in, or if it is that we start a HU and others join.

Any advice on what to do not to be experiencing this + at the same time not to totally ruin the relations? (For the most part i try not to keep intense friendships from ppl of my limis just for this reason alone). Is this sth that happens a lot in other sports too? (i guess so, but have no valid samplesize to make conclusions)

2, By how much do u recommend goal setting of an experienced poker plr should surpass one's current level of performance, assuming ceteris paribus on conditions. Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? Say my goal no1 is become THE best i can be.

Example: Say i can play 30k hand/month Agame, but 15k/week and 3k/day. What structure of intermediate goal setting u think is good for lets say 6 months would u recommend if i wanted to get to eventually 60k/month mark? (lets say i can play 60k hands/month now, just not Agame)

3, Do u think staying flexible in cognitive functions in other areas (playing other logical pc games/ reading books/ engaging in high quality educated social debates..) helps towards training a good poker mindset more than it takes away? Where do u think is the balance between when the other activity clearly starts taking up too much time/energy and losing the marginal utility towards poker. If u could give an estimate in hours/week. (
say i dont do anything else than poker as fulltime and can organize my time accordingly)

4, Do u do longterm private lessons designed on very subjective demand (= basically a psychological motivator coach)? When a client tells u moreorless exactly what he needs from u and u just drill it and make sure it gets to his subconsiousness.. (i can elaborate if its not decribed well) or U concentrate more on passing a general knowledge and removal of the main current personality blocks. Do u have any experiences in the former. I read at ur page u ve coached many poker plrs already, but this is sth different i believe.

5, whats ur current hourly for a private coaching? or does this have to be discussed privately? do use skype?

thx

gg, gl


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AnJo280
Joined: 18.01.2009

I just ordered your book from amazon.de but i´m really struggling right now with different forms of tilt. I´m playing a lot of loosepassive opponents and everytime i lose i turn into phil hellmuth. Its a mixture of frustration because my downswing continues and anger because i deserved to win and this guy just got lucky!
I´m aware both is out of my control and i should concentrate on playing good but the angry caveman in me just insists on PROVING them how bad they are by making them fold. This is obv. preprogrammed disaster and i turn into a bluffmonkey. I started splitting my sessions into 4x 1hour sessions to avoid this or give myself the time to coold down/get my perspective right. I even started meditating and feel that afterwards i have a better grip on the emotional part of my mind. But still i feel like i´m trying to bruteforce myself through something that i don´t really understand.

So what i´m trying to say is what should my approach be to this problem?(especially for the time i´m waiting for your book,since i´ll be quite busy once i got it )


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JaredTendler
Joined: 16.05.2011

Originally posted by isitghostbuster2
hi
great thread.
read the book and have a few questions i hope you can help with

1) i wish to hate making mistakes without getting angry about the mistakes i make but can't see how this is possible.

2) earlier your co author commented on # tables. can you expand on this? e.g. i play between 6 and 9. with less i can focus on each more, but tend to get bored. with 9 i don't get bored and focus for longer but sometimes this can lead to bad decisions with too many decisions to be had at once. should i be focussing on playing less and increasing focus? this also concerns me such that i won't be able to play more tables in future

3) how do you go about breaking down accumulated tilt. i have loads of mental hand histories and as advised am only working on 3/4 maximum at any one time. also taking time with each of them so that i'm ensuring they are learned to the level of unconscious competence. however, this takes time and many accumulated emotion issues remain. any advice would be appreciated.

Hi, thanks.

1) Is it all mistakes that you hate, or just obvious ones? What value do mistakes have? If you have deep rooted anger towards mistakes it suggest that you've had a long time where you've been expecting yourself not to make them. In other words expecting perfection. Is this true?

2) This is a complex question. When you play fewer tables, force yourself to focus and avoid boredom. Doing so actually increases mental endurance while not being in a situation where you'll make costly mistakes. As you increase tables the goal needs to be to have your Unconscious Compentency/Mastered skill set getting stronger and stronger so you can make higher level decisions more automatically/with less energy. The more of your game that is automatic, the less focus that is required to play the same amount of tables. Which means you can add more tables, without being overwhelmed by decisions. I tried to be simple/straightforward - does it make sense?

3) Accumulated emotion is one of the most difficult issues to address and it does take time. Doing the MHH and studying them regularly, as your doing, is a great start. Have you seen small decreases in the intensity of your emotional reactions? If you have, that means you're making progress and on the right track. To speed up the process, think back to the history of the issue that you've broken down and try to pull out the knowledge/learning/lessons from the past. What do you know now that would have prevented you from reacting negatively in the past, that sort of thing. Digging learning out the past is helpful for breaking the issue down. Also, look at the other suggestions on page 67.


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JaredTendler
Joined: 16.05.2011

Originally posted by Steinpilz0104
Hi Jared

I've a general question about how to manage the what I call "curiosity syndrom".

My curiosity syndrom ist the fact that I know I'm beaten, however often I call, just to see that I was beaten.... This conducts to my what you call Mistake-Tilt...

How can I work on me to avoid to make a bad call, this ist the primary question, and it's not really a poker but a psychologic problem.

I think a reason I make also this calls ist the fear, that villain could bluff me, as it has happen some few times...

Thank you for your answer & regards from Switzerland

Couple things. Can you explain a bit more about why you would fear a villain bluffing you. The other thing that comes to mind is that curiosity is really about learning. If you observe a small child, when they are curious they're checking new things out, they're getting to see/do/learn something new. In this case, it sounds like you already know what's right, but you need more proof. Perhaps A LOT of proof because you are compensating for this underlying fear. Once we break this fear down, there will be a small leap of faith to fold in these spots. I'd advise doing it soon, just for the experience - ie: be curious about how you would react. You'll gain a lot of information that will help to break down the fear. If it feels risky keep in mind the long-term risk of doing nothing to correct this problem.

Yw! Best to you from NY.


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JaredTendler
Joined: 16.05.2011

Originally posted by hackbinder

Thanks!!!

Makes sense now...

Nice find Barry. That video is awesome - glad he answered the question for you!


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JaredTendler
Joined: 16.05.2011

Originally posted by Dendra
Hello Jared, I have a question regarding your classification of tilts and its causes.

You don't seem to include overly positive feelings as a source of tilting and I feel like you are missing one piece of the puzzle here. To my current knowledge, you define tilt as "anger+bad play" and claim that a winning tilt is actually being overconfident - which you put into a different category.

I haven't read your book so I can't say for sure if this is true and I also can't say if you didn't cover what I'm about to say, but given the list of your tilts, I'll make a safe guess that you didn't.

When people talk about tilts, they generally think about losing big pots and other negative causes for tilting. However, winning big pots and being overwhelmed by other positive feelings can cause a deviation from your standard play just as well.

I'm not even talking about overconfidence here - I'm talking about the fear of losing your recent winnings. The source of tilt is not the fear, it is the ecstatic feeling of winning something extraordinary, unexpected, etc.

In some cases fear is a too strong word, as we primarily feel very happy and don't want to lose that feeling.

This pretty much puts people into two categories, those who tighten up their game and wish to avoid losses after a big win and those who are encouraged by big wins to go for more (overconfidence or call it what you like - I say it's greed more often than not).

Either way you are deviating from your optimal play and therefore you are tilting. I am unsure why does only negative deviation from standard play count as tilt whereas a "positive" deviation does not?

Maybe it just comes down to defining tilt and in that aspect I feel it's wrong to separate negative and positive reasons as if they are completely different topics - they in fact fall under the same category.

It would be the same to say hatred is an emotion and love is not.

On that note - you say revenge is a form of tilt, how about compassion then? It just occurred to me that in odd scenarios, a player could practically donate his money to an opponent due to feeling pity for him - indeed a rare case, especially in poker, but it is still a plausible one.

Anyway, I'd be interested to hear your reasons for separating positive emotions from causes of tilts and if you indeed did overlook it, what do you think about the emotional changes when a player is on a winning tilt (overconfidence excluded since you mentioned that).

Hey Dendra,

I just posted an answer for you in the comments of my last article, responding to your post. Overconfidence is the most common positive emotion that can cause a deviation in play, but protecting a win, or as you say protecting the good feelings that come with a win are definitely another one. I agree that fear of losing is too strong of a word/phrase, but all emotions exist along a spectrum of intensity, and protection is a much smaller version of fear.

The major reason for defining tilt as being just caused by anger is because it narrows down those types of issues so we can better analyze them, and come up with a solution. If we're just dealing with this huge all encompassing definition of tilt as being anything less than optimal play, it becomes MUCH harder to properly analyze the cause of that deviation. Lack of focus, fatigue, doubt, not trusting your gut, internet problems, boredom, low confidence, are just a few quick examples of reason people can play poorly and each example has a different solution.

One thing I didn't fully understand from your post is this: I am unsure why does only negative deviation from standard play count as tilt whereas a "positive" deviation does not? When you say "positive" deviation do you mean positive emotion - such as excitement? or do you mean positive deviation where you're playing better than ever? If the latter, I think the conversation is shifting to an entirely different topic around performance that doesn't relate to tilt. Either way, please explain more of what you mean.

I'm not separating negative and positive reasons for what causes tilt or deviation in play. Anything that causes a decrease in a players game is negative, whether that reason is excessive anger or excessive confidence or excitement. Too much positive emotion is just as negative as too much negative emotion because it shuts down a person's ability to think clearly. But, the reason I separate them out from causes of tilt is because to properly correct the excessive emotion requires different advice than anger, because they are different, even though they're all emotion. A person who is overconfident may believe that they're in total control of the action, owning souls, and believe that winning is just going to continue happening like printing money. This player is likely, overestimating the degree to which they've mastered areas of their game, ignoring the realities of variance, ignoring real weaknesses that remain in their game that aren't currently being exposed, and/or believe that what they see in their mind or feel is an actuality of what will happen in the future (aka: shitty psychics). One or many of these causes are not entirely different than some of the causes of tilt, ie, these same issues will cause anger when this player is running bad. However, for the sake of clarity, organizing the issues this way makes it clearer to people the dangers of overconfidence and can help to highlight underlying issues that may not exist when running bad.

Make sense? What do you think?


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Originally posted by JaredTendler

Originally posted by isitghostbuster2
hi
great thread.
read the book and have a few questions i hope you can help with

1) i wish to hate making mistakes without getting angry about the mistakes i make but can't see how this is possible.

2) earlier your co author commented on # tables. can you expand on this? e.g. i play between 6 and 9. with less i can focus on each more, but tend to get bored. with 9 i don't get bored and focus for longer but sometimes this can lead to bad decisions with too many decisions to be had at once. should i be focussing on playing less and increasing focus? this also concerns me such that i won't be able to play more tables in future

3) how do you go about breaking down accumulated tilt. i have loads of mental hand histories and as advised am only working on 3/4 maximum at any one time. also taking time with each of them so that i'm ensuring they are learned to the level of unconscious competence. however, this takes time and many accumulated emotion issues remain. any advice would be appreciated.

Hi, thanks.

1) Is it all mistakes that you hate, or just obvious ones? What value do mistakes have? If you have deep rooted anger towards mistakes it suggest that you've had a long time where you've been expecting yourself not to make them. In other words expecting perfection. Is this true?

2) This is a complex question. When you play fewer tables, force yourself to focus and avoid boredom. Doing so actually increases mental endurance while not being in a situation where you'll make costly mistakes. As you increase tables the goal needs to be to have your Unconscious Compentency/Mastered skill set getting stronger and stronger so you can make higher level decisions more automatically/with less energy. The more of your game that is automatic, the less focus that is required to play the same amount of tables. Which means you can add more tables, without being overwhelmed by decisions. I tried to be simple/straightforward - does it make sense?

3) Accumulated emotion is one of the most difficult issues to address and it does take time. Doing the MHH and studying them regularly, as your doing, is a great start. Have you seen small decreases in the intensity of your emotional reactions? If you have, that means you're making progress and on the right track. To speed up the process, think back to the history of the issue that you've broken down and try to pull out the knowledge/learning/lessons from the past. What do you know now that would have prevented you from reacting negatively in the past, that sort of thing. Digging learning out the past is helpful for breaking the issue down. Also, look at the other suggestions on page 67.

Hi again,

thanks very much for taking the time to answer

1)all mistakes annoy me though perhaps not equally. their value, if i understand this question correctly, is in both the monetary loss and perceived lack of learning (ie repeating mistakes). all of this combined with a long losing run after a long winning run accumulate.
i don't know whether i expected perfection. i know that when i looked at my thoughts prior to reading about turning expectations into goal, i didn't really have any written expectations - though it is possible that monetary goals were at least in part an expectation. i don't know whether i expect myself to play perfectly, based on the past few years i expect to win without having to play perfectly but the last 100k+ hands have perhaps 'taught' me otherwise.

2)makes perfect sense, thank you. is clear what and how i should be doing.

3)haven't seen any decrease. i tend not to get that emotional anyway, but my performance drops. thinking about it now, frustration is the key emotion. will have to work on your suggestions and reread sections in the book.
i think the warm down would help a lot here; the problem i'm having with that is measuring performance and variance with any consistent accuracy!


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Hi Jared! Am new to these forums but have been playing poker casually, at micro stakes (mostly 5/10c NLHE and $5 SnGs), for a couple of years now. Liking the idea of someone seriously tackling the mental aspect of running good or bad and it's certainly something that I need as tilt is a factor for me. Don't mind losing at all when I make a mistake or perhaps have too much gamble. Losing a flip doesn't bother me too much.

Have not read your book yet but read the article/extract published in Poker Player. Some of it gave me a lot to think about but because tilt was echoing in me from SnGs I played earlier that week, seems I came away from it with...'resentment' seems like too harsh a word, but it's all I can come up with.

Maybe I've lost the point of the true definition of variance but I assumed it was a negative thing? Periods in which you play where everything seems to go wrong. So for you to state that "if variance didn't cause you tilt, you'd love that it exists" makes very little sense to me. I hate that it exists and would rather that having a 20% chance of winning a pot meant exactly that. Sometimes I will lose in that spot but when the results don't match the math, that's when I get on tilt.

You say that action would dry up if variance went away but bad players will always be dependent on luck, so I don't see that happening. It's also a game of perception and good players can still make understandably bad calls and bad reads. All players are willing to build substantial pots in a flip situation and play draws aggressively. Due to the nature of the game I doubt very much that it could ever become like chess.

I pride myself and doing well to rarely get it in bad and when I do, I definately don't feel good about it when I win. I do remember the times that I suck out but they are far less frequent than when I take a beat - trying not to whine but it really does get me down. It does not affect confidence in my play but it certainly makes me less willing to play at all. Some suck outs that I may put on people are dependent of pot and implied odds: if I make a flush draw on the flop, the pot continues to inflate and I miss the turn, I am careful to be sure I'm getting 5-1 on my money and ideally, can win more should I hit the river. If not, I fold. I don't feel like I've played badly if all those criteria are met and I make my hand at the end.

That you feel that variance is something which makes the game fun is bewildering to me. Making good reads, good folds, putting other players in positions of negative equity and extracting the most value out of them is what I find fun. Taking beat after beat is no fun. And playing badly; overextending myself and then sucking out, is nothing I take pride or joy in. I acknowledge to myself that I played badly and got lucky, never fun to run those type of hands over in your head.

Just did something which I'm sure must be a reaction explored in your book. I play at two sites and one is Betfair. Have only been playing SnGs there and it's been painful. Rarely cash and always get knocked out when getting it in good...tho occasionally on a flip and you can't feel bad about that. I was on such a downswing that I didn't really want to play there anymore and focused on my other account. However, I decided to give it one last shot and play cash games there for a while. Wasn't even close to playing there for an hour when I lost two buy ins; one flush draw on flush draw (mine being the ace-high) where the other player spiked a pair on the turn and the other (against the same guy) in which we got it in pre-flop, my KK against his AK. He won by hitting a single card flush. Can't say I was really on tilt after that but cashed out of the site immediately. Want to make it clear that I don't think any site it 'rigged' but that I can run so badly in one place, doesn't make me want to wait it out and hope one day math or good play will have a place there. Taking my ball and going home! No fun for me there anymore.

Sorry if this is coming off as bitching about beats and I assure you it's not some kind of catharsis to post about getting sucked out on.


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variance isnt = being unlucky. it can be positive or negative


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Positive variance is getting lucky, which I covered. Hitting your 2 outer, pairing your shitty kicker on the river, overextending yourself and hitting your gutshot etc. It's something I don't really experience as I try my hardest (don't always succeed) not to put myself in that position - therefore I have a lot more experience with negative variance. I don't find it fun to make bad reads or play poorly and suck out. Maybe I don't have enough gamble in me.


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roopopper
Joined: 31.12.2010

Sorry about my delay in replying Jared :(
The article was in this months poker player " injustice tilt" :]

Just want to say this thread is amazing too

Roo :)


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