bedofour 2017: NL200-NL600

Interesting story, I will def follow this one!

Music flashback for the beginning, had some strong nostalgia moments today.

Tough times, i run quite bad; i feel i'm improving, but it needs a lot of work before i will be able to think about range vs range play fast enough in many different spots. Moreover sometimes i really cannot understand this game - today i found a turn spot in PIO, where the OOP range had almost 100% check according to GTO despite having ~65:35 equity advantage.

When it comes to badrun, sometimes i curse too much; i have to get used to the injustice of this game again. Overall i think a play quite OK, but my BR thinks otherwise; it got hurt by a combination of swing, one cashout and donation of FPPs (back in 2015). So right now i am under 50BIs and that is too risky. I have to be much more conservative, since i dont have a stable income now. I will most likely play NL200 till the end of the month to get platinum on 888 and then i will go to NL100. I would also like to look at other rooms, but i do not expect to find anything much better than 888.

I would also like to enjoy a bit of freedom now; that is probably the only thing that i dislike about being a professional athlete - you cannot just take a week off and go on a trip. So on wednesday i go quite randomly to Berlin for three days; Ryanair offered round trip from Bratislava for 15 euro, so why not. I also plan on playing there, i dont want to harm my work mode now - i dedicate at least 6-7 hours almost every day to poker and i wanna add a bit more.

It starts to be fun again, I'm back on track

February was a starting month; obviously i am not satisfied with the results, but i am surprised how quickly was i able to move my game back to a solid level. Poker also became fun quite fast, which was usually a problem after a break. Only today i felt a bit less eager to play, but i played 4-6h/day for the whole week, so it is fine and i took a little bit more relaxed day.

I am thinking whether i should set a volume goal for march, but probably no. I like my current system - i have a sort of implicit daily goal of 4 hours of grind + some studiying. If i feel fine and i have the time for it, i play/study more.

I've already bought one strategy pack from GTORB, but so far i've watched only the beginning, so i'll see later, how good it is. I still have to push myself a bit to invest large amounts of money into studying, but it is simply necessary; i wouldn't improve so fast on my own. I miss a good HJ forum from CZ/SK community a lot, but i won't bitch on psgy. You have to be like water and adapt, i will figure it out somehow.

By the way, this weekend i finished the minimalism game. I played together with my GF with adjusted rules, since she is not at home every day. I got rid of 322 things together (in fact, the number is higher, because i often counted a group of items as 1 item) and i gave up, even though later i may find a couple more. I always loved simplicity, but i didn't expect this game to be so awesome. Step by step i went over all stupid wardrobes, cupboards, boxes and cases, got rid of all excessive stuff and i am left only with things that matter to me. In the beginning, i was throwing out completely useless things, later i had to cope with "i may need this one day" and in the end i even got rid of some stuff that i regularly use, but i don't need it, because i have a lot of similiar items - e.g. Tshirts. Even though it may now seem like my mum is writing this, i even started to enjoy order and tidiness. But not tidiness that you have to constantly watch and work on; if you have only a few things, the tidiness comes itself and everything is way simpler.

Hallo aus Berlin!
I've got a day full of traveling behind me, but i used it for some off-table work and some quality time with my gf. Yesterday i finished that OOP cbetting strategy pack from GTORB (btw i hope it is not against forum rules to mention it here); the first half was quite boring, but in the second part there was great postflop analysis and right now i am lost like Kevin. Until now i thought that all i need is some range vs range equity analysis and based on that i should know whether i should bet a lot/less/not bet at all, but now i am completely lost. I have to play with GTO solvers A LOT, i even consider buying a whole flop solver, but afaik the prices are in hundreds of dollars for that and the calculations would take a long time on my laptop. Anyway, once again i got that sad-awesome feeling, that i know literally NOTHING.

And yesterday i decided that whatever it takes, i simply somehow must return to football. Just before the doctors again forbade me to run, i'd played at least one friendly football game. Even though i had slight pain, all the coaches told me that i played really well especially when they took into account that it was the first match after 1,5 years. It is an awful feeliing, knowing that i am good enough, but i cannot play. I just have to return, period.

Recently i started listening to podcasts for the first time in my life. It is a great way of improving the boring parts of my day - for example during a workout or walking. So far i really like Tim Ferris and sometimes The Minimalists. However, i dont know many podcasts so far, so if you know some awesome ones, i'd be happy to hear of them. Regarding poker, i should finally watch some Ingram's interviews.

My run is still quite bad, now i am not 100% fine mindset-wise as well. But hey, many better players had much much worse swing, therefore hopefully my 30BI swing won't crush me. Moreover time-wise it has been only around 2 weeks so far, that cannot do much harm to me. I adjusted a few things in my game, mainly regarding sizing; in many spots i still dont have an idea what to do, but in many other spots i do now. Overall i raised my sizings in many cases, i am more conscious of spots, where i'm very polarized and i try to use it to my advantage.

Right now i am on my way from Berlin, it was a nice addition to the daily grind. This city is so far my no. 1 when it comes to coffeeshops - i found so many of them where i could imagine playing daily sessions. The city itself does not score as high, many neighborhoods are negatively affected by socialist architecture, otherwise are a bit boring for me. But i really liked the presence of art and good design everywhere - in Slovakia, the growth of these things is slowed down probably by our living standard; it's not a primary need and people dont have that much money for it.

And once again i confirmed for myself that i like a bit more aggressive form of travelling - going from place to place every day and sleeping on trains/buses. Now i was there for 3,5 days and it is too much for me. During the first few hours, i create my picture of the city and rarely does it change in the following days. In december, we were in Spain that way, in a week we visited most of the top places of the country, that's the way i like it. Now whenever i listen to this Woodkid's song, it just reminds me of all those crazy routes, night bus trips, swimming in the sea at night in december... And also of my backpack, which involuntarily decided to stay in Barcelona (i found out that Barcelona is the world's capital of pickpocketing just after i got home).

Reader's corner: i try hard to keep on reading a lot even when i returned to poker. From fiction i recently liked classic Babbit and from non-fiction a short book called Lying from Sam Harris. I've always considered myself kinda honest person, btu when i think about it, i lie so often; i should change that.

Finally, it seems that i got used to daily meditation practice. Almost always i am able to do 15 minutes, mostly just simple concentration on the breath. It seems to me that it is much more difficult than things like some body scans etc; but maybe the problem is just that at the same time i switched to this simple practice, i also started sleeping less and sometimes i feel like falling asleep during meditation. Overall i do not know now, what attitude should i have towards sleeping. My ideal sleeping time is around 8 hours, when i train it even gets to 8,5+. Obviously i am able to work during the day even with just 6-7 hours of sleep, but i am not sure how effective the work is then. When i played poker last year, i used to have biphasic sleep routine, around 6,5h in the night + 30min in the afternoon. But i probably don't want to return to that; if i for some reason don't have the opportunity to sleep in the afternoon, the whole day is really bad. Moreover i find the whole ritual of falling asleep and waking up very difficult.

Plus i am not sure what attitude towards caffeine should i have. I really love coffee, it's taste, coffeeshops and the habit itself. On the other hand i really don't want to be addicted to anything...

Pokerwise it's still poor, i have to stop looking at the cashier, it hurts my game. I am a bit afraid, that i will lose a bit of the passion for the game then, but i have to sacrifice that because of my mindset and i will compensate it by interesting studying and/or private coaching. I tried some more coaching sites, but i will probably go back to GTORB; that is the direction that i want to pursue.

Yesterday we had elections in Slovakia; the result is a bit scary, since a neonacist party got into the parliament. People are still so stupid and (un)fortunately most of them don't know who are the guys they have elected. They just think something along the lines 'they are those, who will protect our nation and put things in order'. Let's just hope they don't have any significant impact; anyway, we're way better off than many other countries, so whatever.

The thing i wanna do the most now is to tear out my hair, throw some things against the wall and jump out of the window. TO be fair, i probably don't run much worse than the other days, but gradually the tilt is accumulating and it gets pretty rough.

On the other hand i managed not to watch the results and i feel i play quite solid, even though obviously some bad moments come here and there, when i am unable to think straight. I am content that i put in 5,5 hours today + some studying + maybe i will play some more at night. I am also trying private coaching and overall i feel i'm improving at solid pace and i just have to keep going + fight with the mindset.

I benefit a lot from taking frequent short breaks and the fact that it is winter. All i need is to go out, breath in the cold air, swear a bit and i can return to tables with clearer mind. When it doesn't help, i play some fifa, but there is a risk that it tilts me even more, so that's not really gto solution

Easy song for a grind update; i have a bit of a relax day today, but otherwise i grind 5-6h a day, i study quite a bit; i work even harder because i am increasingly more awared of the whole poker industry being in serious trouble; time is precious now. On the other hand the positive side is that i am quite close to the highest regularly-running limits. Even though nl100-nl200 are not any uberhigh limits, i am the closest to the top players as i've ever been in my pseudocareer. Just one of the things that motivate me...

I feel like even on 888 the fish are not exactly how they used to be - 40/10 are slowly replaced by 28/15 guys and although there is still a ton of value, the trend is obvious. But despite all the negative things in the poker world and my recent results, i feel like i am playing my best game ever and have no intention of changing that.

I keep on grinding, i am content with the fact that i dont feel any kind of burnout; i am able to keep myself in poker mode, i began to read more of 2p2 and i watch chicagojoey's podcasts one by one. That helps me to keep the right direction; despite sometimes i waste some time just browsing the forums, it is still at least a bit useful since that way i am able to relax and stay focused on poker at the same time.

I feel bad about my game recently, i play worse; i feel like it's all very random, maybe i've studied too many new things recently i'm not able to implement it all at once. I feel like any action could have a reasonable meaning, there is always some reason why it might be the right option; but it might not; maybe it's right to use high sizing in this spot, because villain is capped and maybe low sizing, because he is capped and we have range advantage and we wanna bet small with a wide range...

Yesterday snap100 didn't run for almost half a day, so i made a bit of research regarding other rooms - i should add at least one more. My plan is to try unibet and some ipoker skin as soon as i get some things with skrill sorted out.

Originally posted by bedofour
I keep on grinding, i am content with the fact that i dont feel any kind of burnout...

I know the reason

@ zeldy: we'll see how it goes now

Goodness gracious, i can't seem to stop... I am in my best grinding form ever; i don't think about results, i just play and try to get as far as possible. It's not really the best game i am capable of, but i am very content with the volume, hopefully i can finally put in 120h+ month. I don't know why i never really read 2p2, i find a lot of inspiration there (although it is covered with layers of spam). I enjoy playing so much that i've been postpoing reinstalling of windows for a couple of weeks - i'd like to try win10, but i'm afraid it might bring some troubles with clients, pt4 etc, so i don't know yet.

Yesterday i took a walk around the neighborhood where i grew up; it is probably my favourite form of self-torture - i always feel so sad, when i realize how fast the time runs - when i find out that the trees we used to climb as kids are cut down and fields, where we used to play football all day every day, are covered with random plants. I'd like to go back at least for a while...

I often see this now too - i blink and a week has gone by, i close my eyes for a while and i'm one year older (shit, as if i was 60). But it's an important reminder, you have to be grateful for the present; realizing this is my main motivation for sticking to meditation. The same principle applies in poker, you have to appreciate it while it is here and enjoy it.

some deep house for the grind

the moment you stop being afraid of the crowd,
you are no longer a sheep, no,
you become a lion,
you become a lion and the great roar arises in the depths of your heart,
it's gonna be the roar of freedom and the roar of love

I play quite a lot, but i just wanna cry. Sometimes i just say to myself that i could quit this, buy a piosolver license and play only there. Variance-free.

The only positive thing is the nice weather that we had here today; i like it when i can take a break in the afternoon and just sit somewhere in the nature, feel the warmth of the sun and think about life. I am a happy man - i have the freedom to do it whenever i want.

Whatever, i just have to go fight for this freedom (besides other things), regain my focus and play another session.

Grind update: i keep on not looking at my results without much effort, the last time i saw the graph was 8 days ago and now i'd like not to see it till the end of the month. It really helps me to lower the emotional impact of the swings, i just need a bit of self-discipline. I probably run a bit better now, but maybe i'm completely wrong. I am curious what is my redline now after some changes; for a long time it's been a problem for me, i had like -9bb/100. In theory it should be below zero, but given the exploitable tendencies of regs on my limit, it could be ideal to have it around BE imo. For now, i'd like to have it at least not too far from BE.

Recently i've been going over the stats of other regs from snap - a lot of them is just so easily exploitable and i have to exploit them. Almost nobody in the snap pool has good sample on other regs and i believe that almost nobody cares, so i have to use it to my advantage. Although on the other hand, i've always enjoyed more of a theoretical approach; i have to find some middle way. Longterm-wise i don't really wanna play too much explo.

I've also begun playing around with piosolver a lot again. This time i mostly don't try to solve some real spots, but i try to come up with some toygames, results of which can be applied at the tables. It's really fun, i feel like a 15yo nerd chemist, who got the keys from the lab for the first time.

hey..do you play on microgaming by any chance?

hi! nope, never played there

I've already done over 50k hands and 120h hours played in march, which is a serious achievement for me. Most of the time i really enjoy thinking and playing; i also made a lot of notes and did many small improvements to my game this month; i didn't study that much time-wise - but i was very efficient. The fact that i play a lot also has a positive impact on my game - i think faster, feel much more confidence in many spots and therefore i am able to think of some creative solutions too. Obv sometimes some leaks are created because of the routine, but i can mostly minimize it with regular stats check.

I really enjoy it, right now i feel rly happy, maybe even the happiest since i got injured. I temporarily removed football from my life and that is the best attitude that i can have. A couple of time i even caught myself thinking how it would be fine if i was injured a bit longer and could pursue poker. And i don't feel bad about it at all, because at the end of the day i know that if i could play football, i'd be even more happy. And that whenever i am healthy, i can switch my mind to football instantly and do my best there.

So overall everything goes in the right direction; the only small problem is that i should learn how to handle random small tasks better, because they tilt me. I hate all phone calls, i hate all the paperwork regarding yearly taxes, making appointments with doctors... Basically i really dislike communication with strangers - especially if i need something from them.

Hey,

Thanks for your blog I can identify myself in a lot of things you write about. Beleave in yourself and the success will come. Poker is like a huge puzzle you try to solve but even if you are pretty good you may feel like you aren't because of running horrible / making mistakes because of metal issues etc.. There is always two sides "the human factor" + "the knowledge" you need both of them to be in place.

Trust yourself and keep working you'll get there you deserve it!! Injuries and shit in life may make you feel terrible for a while but because you don't want to feel like shit you end up having a lot of willpower to achieve things.. Wish you the best of luck!

Two days ago i accidentally saw my cashier - as expected it was very solid and i think i've won 20-25BI during the recent two weeks. But i won't think or write about it too much, there will be enough time for reviews at the end of the month. Btw i have to admit that i am just a result oriented monkey; all the time i think whether i've won or lost today, why am i losing, whether i will win today, why do i have to reload my stack and when i will be happy sitting at the table 350bb deep. Just stupid.

I had planned to grind less during the weekend, but i simply wanted to play a lot; therefore i have two more relax days now because of some RL stuff. I can't see any upcoming burnouts in the near future; sometimes it just happens that i don't feel like playing for a few hours, but otherwise my motivation is quite high. After a long time i've also seen my sister with her family and overall i feel like my life is quite balanced atm.

Maybe i could also post some hands here and there, i will start to mark some interesting ones. For now i have only two herocalls:

His line makes no sense at all, but ofc it wasn't so easy for 180bb.

888 Poker - $1 NL (6 max) FAST - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: $128.32
SB: $111.11
BB: $218.23
UTG: $78.08
Hero (MP): $250.92
CO: $208.65

SB posts SB $0.50, BB posts BB $1.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $1.50) Hero has 9♥ 8♥

fold, Hero raises to $3.00, CO calls $3.00, BTN calls $3.00, fold, fold

Flop: ($10.50, 3 players) 7♠ 9♦ 6♣
Hero checks, CO checks, BTN bets $5.25, Hero calls $5.25, CO raises to $25.00, fold, Hero calls $19.75

Turn: ($65.75, 2 players) 5♦
Hero checks, CO bets $45.00, Hero calls $45.00

River: ($155.75, 2 players) 7♥
Hero checks, CO bets $110.00, Hero calls $110.00

CO shows J♠ Q♠ (One Pair, Sevens)
(Pre 63%, Flop 25%, Turn 3%)
Hero shows 9♥ 8♥ (Straight, Nine High)
(Pre 37%, Flop 75%, Turn 97%)
Hero wins $371.75

----
this is a spot where i wouldn't have even considered calling a couple of weeks/months ago; but i think that against fish, who are not aware of how easy it is to overbluff such runouts, it's quite +ev. especially vs 1/2 sizing

888 Poker - $1 NL (6 max) FAST - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: $151.20
Hero (SB): $132.39
BB: $40.00
UTG: $67.82
MP: $90.61
CO: $75.00

Hero posts SB $0.50, BB posts BB $1.00

Pre Flop: (pot: $1.50) Hero has 3♥ 4♥

fold, MP raises to $3.00, fold, BTN calls $3.00, Hero calls $2.50, fold

Flop: ($10.00, 3 players) J♥ 5♥ T♦
Hero checks, MP bets $5.00, BTN calls $5.00, Hero calls $5.00

Turn: ($25.00, 3 players) 3♣
Hero checks, MP bets $12.50, fold, Hero calls $12.50

River: ($50.00, 2 players) 6♠
Hero checks, MP bets $25.00, Hero calls $25.00

MP shows K♣ A♥ (High Card, Ace)
(Pre 61%, Flop 52%, Turn 18%)
Hero shows 3♥ 4♥ (One Pair, Threes)
(Pre 39%, Flop 48%, Turn 82%)
Hero wins $96.00

I will try not to post only hands that work out well, but for now i have only these.
Thanks for reading