need to have a cry **warning** dont read if you dont wanna hear me moan

Originally posted by Tim128
the other scenario is hard to say as you can run under EV forever if you have a rough start.

It's true and it's important to understand. I think people complain too much because they have wrong asomptions about EV. (That's one of the reason of my signature above :P)
If you play head or tails and begin with a losing streak, people tend to believe maths should assure you that you'll come break even on the very long run whereas it's wrong, you can stay negative for all your life but your loss will become less and less important compared to the number of times you play.
It's not the EV that converge, it's the EV/number of hands played.

Moreover the AIEV curve isn't that much representative of your "luck", like, not even close. Far from it. Watching it to try to prove you are unlucky is plainly ridiculous for several reasons, some of them detailed in a post of my mate Muthos for those who understand french here

Yeah that's what I meant, luck has no memory and starts clean after you had a losing streak, you now need a upswing to get back to your original expectation

I have to admit, I totally underestimated variance at the beginning and had to say: WOW! Variance is really high in poker and that´s what we all have to keep in our minds. Variance can be a real a*hole. That´s why a good BRM is of such great importance!

But not only BRM is cruical in poker but also a strong mindset!

This may help

When it's ok to tell a bad beat story, by Jared Tendler

Was just randomly browsing the forums and came across this thread: https://forums.pokerstrategy.com/forum/thread.php?postid=2691236
Solid read, even though it's basic stuff really. OP there states:

OH AND IVE ALSO LEARNT NOT TO F* JUMP UP STAKES BEFORE IM READY!!!
I'm a sod for that and it keeps costing me so now I'm a firm believer of bankroll management!

Which is of course true and very important aspect of moving up the stakes. Then I realized OP there = OP here. Flashback to OP of this thread:

in two days and together they have taken $120 from my bankroll almost 2/3 of my bankroll.

aaaand there's the problem. Stick to a BRM. Because it will happen again. The positive side is you seem to know your weaknesses but lack the discipline. Just like one buyin is nothing in the great scheme of things, it's a waste of time playing the limits you don't have the roll for. GL dude.