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Here's an oldie...
It is often told with the lighthouse in Wales or Newfoundland.
Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Grandma: Ohhhh, my joints are *so* stiff...
Grandson: Perhaps you're rolling them too tight.
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you."
He looked around and saw nothing.
He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you."
In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside.
The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me"
The parrot replied, "Yes."
Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?"
The parrot said, "Clarence."
The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot.
What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the Rottweiler Jesús."
A man was washing his car with his 5-yr old son.
After a few minutes the boy said, "Dad, wouldn't you rather use a sponge?"
